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We come together
as supporters of something new: a grass-roots movement to strengthen marriage.
We come together to give public voice and direction to this new movement-to
explain our intentions, specify our goals, and seek the support of our
fellow citizens.
We are teachers
and scholars, marriage counselors and marriage educators. We are judges,
divorce lawyers, and legal reformers. We are clinicians, service providers,
policy analysts, social workers, women's leaders, religious leaders, and
advocates for responsible fatherhood. We are people of faith, asking God's
blessing in the great task before us. We are agnostics and humanists,
committed to moral and spiritual progress. We are women and men, liberals
and conservatives, of different races and ethnic groups. We come together
to pursue a common goal. We come together for a marriage movement.
We come
together because the divorce revolution has failed. Contrary to the
hopes of many Americans in the 1970s, high divorce rates have proved no
panacea for family dysfunction. Divorced parents can fight, too, and sometimes
even abandon their children altogether. Children of divorce must cope
with new emotional and logistical difficulties at the same time that parents
are often overwhelmed by new emotional, time, and financial problems.
Even in the best of circumstances, children miss their fathers when living
with mothers, and their mothers when living with fathers.
Nostalgia
for the high hopes of the 1970s should not blind us to the hard truths
discovered over the past thirty years: When marriages fail, children suffer.
For many, the suffering continues for years. For some, it never ends.
Children suffer when marriages between parents do not take place, when
parents divorce, and when spouses fail to create a "good-enough"
family bond. We recognize that there are abusive marriages that should
end in separation or divorce. We firmly believe that every family raising
children deserves respect and support. Yet at the same time, we cannot
forget that not every family form is equally likely to protect children's
well-being.
Nor has the
divorce revolution reliably delivered on its promise to adults of greater
personal happiness. Instead, research has shown that remarriages are no
happier, on average, than first marriages, and are even more divorce-prone.
Even when parents remarry, their children do no better, on average, than
children raised by single parents, and both do worse on all measures than
children raised by their own two married parents.[1]
We come
together because the unwed-childbearing revolution has failed. More
births to unmarried mothers has not led to greater freedom, equality,
and justice for women. Instead, because few single men become nurturing,
dependable fathers, few unwed mothers enjoy the benefits of an equal parenting
partnership. In practice, our embrace of unmarried childbearing has led
not to greater equality for women, but to the feminization of both parenting
and poverty.
We come
together because we value freedom and cherish our free society. We
recognize that the decline of marriage weakens civil society and spreads
social inequality. Americans of all social classes and ethnic groups value
marriage. Yet, as society retreats from supporting marriage publicly,
those who succeed in achieving this aspiration are increasingly likely
to be the already highly advantaged: better educated, more affluent, and
white.[2]
As M. Belinda
Tucker has noted, "African Americans marry later, are about twice
as likely to divorce, and are less likely to marry ever, yet Blacks' views
of the importance of marriage are similar to those held by members of
other ethnic groups."[3] By age 30, 80 percent of
white women, but only 45 percent of black women, have married.[4]
Meanwhile in 1995, 32 percent of the marriages of wives who are high school
graduates had ended by the ten-year mark, compared to 18 percent of college-educated
wives.[5] The result of trends like these is that many
fewer less advantaged children enjoy the economic and emotional benefits
of living with married parents. Of children born in the early 1990s, white
(non-Hispanic) children can expect to spend about 80 percent of childhood
in a married-couple household, while for Hispanic children the figure
is 67 percent and for African American children the figure is only 16
percent.[6]
We recognize
that the decline of marriage is an American problem, not an ethnic problem,
touching in one way or another every community. But we also recognize
a special responsibility to our most vulnerable children. If America allows
the norms, attitudes, values, information, skills, and economic support
needed to sustain marriage to be privatized, we should not be surprised
to find that marriage will become the private property of the privileged.
Marriage, a rich generator of social and human capital, must not become
the private hoard of the upper-middle class, creating a new, disturbing
marital divide between the haves and have-nots in America.
We come
together to affirm that marriage is not a special interest. Whether
an individual ever personally marries or not, a healthy marriage culture
benefits every citizen in the United States: rich or poor, churched or
unchurched, gay or straight, liberal or conservative, parent or childless,
African American, Hispanic, Anglo, Asian, or Native American. Marriage
is not a conservative or liberal idea, not a plaything of passing political
ideologies. Marriage is a universal human institution, the way in which
every known society conspires to obtain for each child the love, attention,
and resources of a mother and a father.
A large body
of research has shown that current rates of divorce, family conflict,
and unwed childbearing are not good for children, for adults, or for society.[7]
New research from pioneering marriage educators and therapists are laying
out exciting new paths to marital success.[8] Innovative
leaders-in state and local government, civic organizations, faith communities,
academia, education, child welfare, psychology, marriage education, and
therapy-are beginning to focus on the vital new question: What can we
do to strengthen marriage?
Support for
marriage, we emphasize, does not require turning back the clock on desirable
social change, promoting male tyranny, or tolerating domestic violence.
We seek to bring not condemnation and shame to the already distressed,
but hope and support to the nine out of ten Americans who at some point
in their lives choose marriage as the vessel for their dreams of a lasting,
loving family bond.
We come
together to enlarge and energize this emerging effort to renew the marriage
vow and the marriage vision. We come together to help more men and
women achieve a caring, collaborative, and committed bond, rooted in equal
regard between spouses. We come together to pledge that in this decade
we will turn the tide on marriage and reduce divorce and unmarried childbearing,
so that each year more children will grow up protected by their own two
happily married parents, and so that each year more adults' marriage dreams
will come true.
Where Do We Stand Today? The Contemporary Marriage Crisis
Over the last two generations, marriage as a social institution has weakened.
Since 1960, the crude divorce rate has doubled, while the number of divorces
has almost tripled, from 393,000 in 1960 to almost 1.2 million in 1994.[9]
Meanwhile, just since 1980, the proportion of children born outside of
marriage has almost doubled, from 18.4 percent to almost one-third. Each
year in America at least 1.2 million babies are born to unmarried parents.[10]
Weaker marriage
ties have not translated into happier marriages or families. Between 1973
and 1993, the percent of persons who were in intact and happy first marriages
"has declined substantially in recent years, the proportion after
ten years now being about one third," reports University of Texas
Scholar Norval Glenn. Despite high rates of divorce, the proportion of
children living with unhappily married parents has not declined.[11]
Why has marriage
weakened? Scholars point to a variety of important cultural, legal, and
economic changes: increases in intimacy expectations, greater social approval
of alternatives to marriage, the greater economic independence of women,
"no-fault" divorce reform, the rise in social insurance programs
that make individuals less dependent on families, the expansion of market
and consumer mores into family life, and lesser social supports and pressures
to get and stay married from family, friends, professionals, churches,
business, and government. Moreover, divorce in one generation increases
divorce in the next. One large recent study found that children whose
parents divorced were 76 percent more likely to divorce themselves, even
after controlling for family characteristics and the parents' predivorce
marital quality.[12]
Has this
decline happened because Americans no longer care about marriage? No.
Marriage remains a widely shared aspiration. In a 1996 survey, just one
percent of Americans said marital success was "not very important"
to them. Only eight percent of Americans call marriage an "outdated
institution," a proportion that has not changed over the last generation.
About half of Americans say that "divorce in this country should
be more difficult to obtain,"[13] and public support
for this point of view is rising.[14] The paradox is,
as Norval Glenn has written: "[M]arriage remains very important to
adult Americans-probably as important as it has ever been-while the proportion
of Americans married has declined and the proportion successfully married
has declined even more."[15]
The younger
generation is equally enthusiastic about marriage. Eight out of ten high
school girls say that having a good marriage and family life are "extremely
important."[16] More than two out of three younger
Americans agree that "when parents divorce, children develop permanent
emotional problems." Three-fourths believe that divorce laws are
too lax.[17]
At the same
time, young people today view cohabitation more favorably, are less likely
than in the recent past firmly to connect marriage with childbearing,
and appear to be translating these attitudes into action. Between 1976-1980
and 1991-1995, the proportion of high school senior girls who said that
having a child while unmarried is either "a worthwhile lifestyle"
or "not affecting anyone else" jumped from 33 percent to 53
percent.[18] By the early 1990s, about 40 percent of
women under the age of 30 who became first-time mothers were not married.[19]
Between 1975 and 1995, the proportion of high school girls who agreed
that "It is usually a good idea for couples to live together before
getting married" skyrocketed from 32 percent to 55 percent.[20]
Between 1975
and 1995, the proportion of all couples who were cohabiting rather than
married more than tripled, and 64 percent of women born between 1963 and
1974 made their first union a cohabitation rather than a marriage.[21]
By the early 1990s, cohabitation was replacing marriage among young parents
as well: The proportion of all out-of-wedlock births occurring to cohabiting
couples leaped from 29 percent in the early 1980s to 39 percent in the
early 1990s.[22]
In each of
these cases, the untutored strategies of the young make it less likely,
not more, that they will achieve their goal of a successful marriage.
Children born to cohabiting parents are more likely than those born to
married couples to experience their parents' breakup.[23]
An out-of-wedlock child makes it less likely that a woman who wants to
marry will find a mate.[24] Cohabitation does not decrease-and
may increase-the risk of divorce.[25] The longer and
more often men and women cohabit, and the more tolerant of divorce they
become, the fewer children they want, and the less positive attitudes
toward marriage they develop.[26] More tolerant attitudes
about divorce, research suggests, may make good marriages less likely.
"Ironically," two researchers recently concluded, "by adopting
attitudes that provide greater freedom to leave unsatisfying marriages,
people may be increasing the likelihood that their marriages will become
unsatisfying in the long run."[27]
Is Change Possible? The Case against Despair
Is renewing
a marriage culture a reasonable goal? We think so.
When Americans
organized in the 1990s to combat teen pregnancy, teen pregnancy declined.[28]
The recent decline in teen sexual activity,[29] a significant
decline in divorce rates since 1979,[30] a drop in the
illegitimacy rate, and the levelling off of the proportion of births out
of wedlock in the late 1990s,[31] are all indicators
that social change is not a one-way street. The apparent success of new
strategies (such as community marriage policies[32]
and marriage education[33]) in preventing divorce gives
us powerful additional reasons to hope.
We know that
not all of our fellow citizens agree. There are at least three concerns
that stand in the way of a renewed public commitment to marriage.[34]
The Argument
from Despair
The first stumbling block to rebuilding a marriage culture is "the
argument from despair." High rates of divorce and unwed childbearing,
some distinguished voices tell us, are irreversible trends. As one scholar
said in 1988: "[T]he changes in the structure of the family are probably
the result of some sizable and largely unstoppable changes in social and
economic patterns."[35] Said another respected
scholar more recently: "[L]iving together is not going away. We have
to realize this is the world we live in."[36]
We respectfully,
but firmly, disagree. The history of American progress is the history
of confronting entrenched social problems once considered inevitable.
Slavery, racism, poverty, pollution, drunk driving, domestic violence,
sexism, tobacco use- in each case, Americans proved that when a social
practice, big or small, is wrong or destructive, the correct response
is not fatalistic acceptance, but action. Few social problems are ever
perfectly resolved. Certainly we recognize that there will always be children
born without committed fathers; there will always be abusive marriages
that should not survive.
But the decline
of marriage is not inevitable. Social recovery is possible, as the recent
encouraging turnaround in the divorce rate affirms. The goal of our movement
is not perfection, but progress; not to eliminate divorce or unwed childbearing,
but to reduce it further; not to make every marriage last, but to help
more marriages succeed.
The Fear
of Hurting Single Parents
The second argument against a marriage movement stems not from despair
but fear: Will a great public effort to strengthen marriage require denigrating
single mothers and their children? We don't think so.
Supporting
marriage does not require punishing single parents or their children.
The Marriage Movement is a movement for a better marriage culture, not
a movement of the smug marrieds for the smug marrieds. Many of us in the
marriage movement are single parents or the children of single parents.
We know firsthand how children suffer and parents struggle when marriages
fail. We know, too, how false the common stereotype is that single parents
don't care about marriage. Few parents, single or married, dream of the
day their daughters will become single mothers, or their sons turn into
absent fathers.
Children
of single parents, like all American children, need and deserve help in
making better marriages than their parents may have had. They need a marriage
culture that affirms their deepest aspirations and does not merely confirm
their deepest fears; a culture that tells them that married love is a
possible, reasonable, normal, achievable goal. Fatherless boys, in particular,
need help in affirming the value of responsible, nurturing fatherhood.
They do not need false reassurances that their own fathers' abandonment
was no big deal, or that if they in turn become part-time or absent fathers,
their own children will not suffer. If boys without fathers are to grow
up to be loving, committed fathers to their own children, they cannot
live in a culture that tells them that full-time fathers are not important.
The Privatization
of Marriage
Marriage is not just a private relationship. It is also a social institution.
"The belief that marriage is a social good and therefore a legitimate
concern of the state," points out Don Browning, "lies behind
the 1998 green paper on family and marriage issued by the Labor government
in England, the interest in marriage education in Australia, and the moves
into marriage preparation in Florida, Louisiana, and Arizona. The mass
of legal codes governing marriage and family in the 50 states is also
a sign of the long-standing belief that marriage deals with profound goods
that must be monitored and ordered for the public good."[37]
After 30
years of a divorce culture, many Americans see marriage as too personal
to be a proper matter for public concern or intervention. Even family
members, clergy, and children are often not seen as legitimate stakeholders
in the success of a marriage. For if marriage is just a word for two adults
who have managed (or not managed) to create an emotionally satisfying
personal relationship, how can any outsider legitimately second-guess
their decision to divorce?
We do not
share this limited conception of marriage. A good marriage is not just
a good private relationship, and married couples are not in a sealed bubble,
immune from the influences of others. Though marriage is intimate and
personal, marriage also has an inherently public side. Marriage is what
lovers do when they want to bring their relationship out of the private
realm of personal emotions and make it a social fact, visible to and recognized
not only by the couple, but also by friends, family, church, government,
and the rest of society. Good marriages are made, not born, and they are
most likely to be made in a society that understands and values marriage
as a shared aspiration and key social institution, not just a private
affair of the heart.
What
Is Marriage? Six Dimensions
Marriage
has at least six important dimensions:
Marriage
is a legal contract. Marriage creates formal and legal obligations
and rights between spouses. Public recognition of, and protection for,
this marriage contract, whether in tax or divorce law, helps married couples
succeed in creating a permanent bond.
Marriage
is a financial partnership. In marriage, "my money" typically
becomes "our money," and this sharing of property creates its
own kind of intimacy and mutuality that is difficult to achieve outside
a legal marriage. Only lovers who make this legal vow typically acquire
the confidence that allows them to share their bank accounts as well as
their bed.
Marriage is a sacred promise. Even people who are not part of
any organized religion usually see marriage as a sacred union, with profound
spiritual implications. "Whether it is the deep metaphors of covenant
as in Judaism, Islam and Reformed Protestantism; sacrament as in Roman
Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy; the yin and yang of Confucianism; the
quasi-sacramentalism of Hinduism; or the mysticism often associated with
allegedly modern romantic love," Don Browning writes, "humans
tend to find values in marriage that call them beyond the mundane and
everyday."[38] Religious faith helps to deepen
the meaning of marriage and provides a unique fountainhead of inspiration
and support when troubles arise.
Marriage is a sexual union. Marriage elevates sexual desire into a
permanent sign of love, turning two lovers into "one flesh."
Marriage indicates not only a private but a public understanding that
two people have withdrawn themselves from the sexual marketplace. This
public vow of fidelity also makes men and women more likely to be faithful.
Research shows, for example, that cohabiting men are four times more likely
to cheat than husbands, and cohabiting women are eight times more likely
to cheat than spouses.[39]
Marriage is a personal bond. Marriage is the ultimate avowal
of caring, committed, and collaborative love. Marriage incorporates our
desire to know and be known by another human being; it represents our
dearest hopes that love is not a temporary condition, that we are not
condemned to drift in and out of shifting relationships forever.
Marriage is a family-making bond. Marriage takes two biological
strangers and turns them into each other's next-of-kin. As a procreative
bond, marriage also includes a commitment to care for any children produced
by the married couple. It reinforces fathers' (and fathers' kin's) obligations
to acknowledge children as part of the family system.
In all these ways, marriage is a productive institution, not a consumer
good. Marriage does not simply certify existing loving relationships,
but rather transforms the ways in which couples act toward one another,
toward their children, and toward the future. Marriage also changes the
way in which other individuals, groups, and institutions think about and
act toward the couple.[40] The public, legal side of
marriage increases couples' confidence that their partnerships will last.
Conversely, the more marriage is redefined as simply a private relationship,
the less effective marriage becomes in helping couples achieve their goal
of a lasting bond.
Marriage
as the Incubator of Fathers
Consider just one example of how the various dimensions of marriage reinforce
healthy and productive behavior: the incubation of fatherhood. The empirical
evidence is quite clear: Marriage is our best hope of fostering involved,
effective, nurturing fathers.
As a matter
of mere biology, men can sire a virtually unlimited number of children,
but a man can provide daily care, protection, love, and financial support
to only a few children. Marriage closes this gap between a man's sexual
and fathering capacities. It makes a sexual union with one woman a matter
of public record. It obligates not just the man, but also his kin, to
protect the children of this sexual union as family.[41]
When fathers
do not live with their children, research shows, the relationship between
father and child typically dissipates. Ten years after the divorce, only
one in ten children saw their father as often as once a week; two-thirds
had not seen him in the past year.[42] One study of
unwed fathers found that while 57 percent visited their infants weekly,
just 22 percent saw their elementary school-aged children this frequently.
In another sample of urban, African American families, just one out of
five young single mothers said that their child's father took "a
lot" of responsibility for their three-year old child, compared to
88 percent of married and cohabiting mothers.[43]
Why? One
reason is that when fathers are not married to the mother of their children,
they develop difficult, competing obligations to new partners and new
children. Time, energy, and money are limited resources. When a father
doesn't live with his children's mother, his fathering must be spread
out over at least two households, and often more. Outside of marriage,
the difficulties of fathering multiply, and the number of successful fathers
dwindles.
IV.
Is Marriage a Private Matter? The Public Costs of Divorce
Is strengthening
marriage a legitimate public goal?
We believe
that the answer is yes, for at least four reasons:
1. Marriage
protects the well-being of children;
2.
Divorce and unwed parenting generate large taxpayer costs;
3. Marriage is a unique generator of social and human capital, as important
as education in building the wealth of individuals and communities; and
4. Only marriage creates a reasonable hope of permanence.
The Well-Being
of Children
Children do better, on average, when they are raised by their own two
married parents. What are the risks of non-intact families for children?
As Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher sum up: "On average, children
of married parents are physically and mentally healthier, better educated
and later in life more likely to enjoy more career success than other
children." On the other hand, "Children raised in single-parent
households are, on average, more likely to be poor, to have health problems
and psychological disorders, to commit crimes and exhibit other conduct
disorders, have somewhat poorer relationships with both family and peers,
and as adults eventually get fewer years of education and enjoy less stable
marriages and lower occupational status on average than children whose
parents got and stayed married. This 'marriage gap' in children's well-being
remains true even after researchers control for important family characteristics,
including parents' race, income and socioeconomic status." [44]
What does
marriage do for children? With marriage, children gain direct access to
the financial, emotional, educational, and spiritual resources of both
parents. Outside of marriage, the economic and emotional interests of
parents and children diverge. Children experience new loyalty conflicts
and so do adults. A man who is living separately from his children experiences
a contradiction between providing for his children and maintaining his
own household's standard of living; he also experiences a new tug-of-war
between time and money for his kids and retaining enough time and money
to attract a new mate. Outside of lifelong marriage, men risk being torn
into fractional dads, pulled in too many directions by children spread
out over too many different households.
Similarly,
a single mother must assume new breadwinning and parenting duties, while
also attempting to find time and energy to create a social life for herself.
The introduction of non-related males into the household significantly
increases the risks of child abuse.[45] In more ordinary
cases, it tends to create difficult emotional and loyalty balancing acts,
as children and new partners compete with both parents for time, attention,
money, and emotional priority. Outside of marriage, the tasks of parenting
remain the same, but both parents must meet them with reduced time, emotional
energy, and financial resources.
Outside of
marriage, the parent-child bond itself typically weakens, not only with
absent fathers, but with overworked mothers as well. As two researchers
who studied 2,000 married families over a 15-year period report: "[R]elations
with parents appear to suffer, on average, more when parents divorce than
when unhappily married parents stay together."[46]
Many single parents are unsung heroes, overcoming these difficulties to
create warm, loving homes for their children. But few of these heroes
and heroines would deny the difficulties of parenting outside of marriage.
Few Americans of any marital status view single parenting as an ideal.
The Taxpayer
Costs of Divorce
Divorce and unwed childbearing create substantial public costs, paid by
taxpayers. Higher rates of crime, drug abuse, education failure, chronic
illness, child abuse, domestic violence, and poverty among both adults
and children bring with them higher taxpayer costs in diverse forms: more
welfare expenditure; increased remedial and special education expenses;
higher day-care subsidies; additional child-support collection costs;
a range of increased direct court administration costs incurred in regulating
post-divorce or unwed families; higher foster care and child protection
services; increased Medicaid and Medicare costs; increasingly expensive
and harsh crime-control measures to compensate for formerly private regulation
of adolescent and young-adult behaviors; and many other similar costs.
While no
study has yet attempted precisely to measure these sweeping and diverse
taxpayer costs stemming from the decline of marriage, current research
suggests that these costs are likely to be quite extensive. For example:
Boys raised
outside of intact marriages are two to three times more likely to commit
a crime leading to incarceration by the time they are in their early thirties,
even after controlling for race, family background, neighborhood quality,
and cognitive ability.[47] Because divorce lowers family
income and (often) neighborhood quality, and because divorce in one generation
leads to higher rates of unwed parenting in the next, the long-term consequences
of marital breakdown on the crime rate are likely to be even higher.
Changes in
family structure explain 97 percent of black and 99 percent of white families'
poverty spells-not only unwed childbearing but also divorce.[48]
Forty-four percent of women experience poverty following divorce.[49]
Absent remarriage, the typical divorced woman can expect a standard of
living near the poverty level, and this drop cannot be explained by selection
effects into divorce.[50] About one-fifth of women who
apply for welfare benefits for the first time do so because of divorce
or separation; about one in four mothers who were first propelled onto
welfare by divorce are still welfare-dependent five years later.[51]
The long-term effects of divorce on welfare expenditures are even higher,
as daughters of divorce are three times more likely to become unwed teen
mothers, and are also more likely later to be divorced.[52]
Unmarried
hospital patients are two-and-a-half times as likely to require nursing
home care, even after taking into account the severity of illness, the
diagnosis, age, gender, and race.[53] Elderly married
men and women are also less likely than unmarried senior citizens to enter
a nursing home.[54]
Following
divorce, children are 50 percent more likely to develop health problems,[55]
generating higher Medicaid costs for mothers in poverty. Children in female-headed
households are more likely to be hospitalized, and to have chronic health
conditions, than children in two-parent families, even after taking into
account the lower average education and income of single-mother families.[56]
One quarter
of children in both mother-only and remarried families repeat a grade
in school, compared to 14 percent of those in married families. About
a quarter of children in mother-only families (and 18 percent in stepfamilies)
have been suspended or expelled, compared to less than 10 percent in mother-father
families.[57]
Teenagers
and young women whose parents are divorced are more than three times as
likely to have an out-of-wedlock child as young women whose parents stayed
married.[58] About one out of ten teens under 15 who
are living with both of their parents have ever had sex, compared to 20
percent of those living in a blended family, 23 percent of those living
with a single mother, and 27 percent of those living with a single father.[59]
A Unique
Generator of Social and Human Capital
Married adults live longer, healthier, happier, and more affluent lives
than adults who don't marry or don't stay married. This phenomenon is
not simply an artifact of selection; marriage itself makes adults better
off, by offering them greater emotional and financial support, wider and
more integrated social networks, important economies of scale, and productive
boosts in earnings, parenting capacity, and life management.[60]
Marriage
also helps to conserve wealth and expand social capital. At any given
level of income, married adults are less likely to experience financial
hardship. The longer people stay married, the more wealth they accumulate,
whereas length of cohabitation has no relationship to wealth accumulation.
Informal partners-who are not held by the wider society to be financially
responsible to one another-do not reap the same benefits as the legally
married.[61]
When it comes
to helping Americans to live a long, healthy life, marriage offers profound
advantages as well. As one review of the literature put it: "Compared
to married people, the non-married . . . have higher rates of mortality[62]
than the married: about 50 percent higher among women and 250 percent
higher among men." Marriage lowers the incidence of depression, suicide,
and substance abuse (including alcoholism). One longitudinal study following
a nationally representative sample of 13,000 men and women over five years
found that, after controlling for initial mental health status, the mental
health of all singles (never married, separated, divorced, and widowed)
declined compared to those who remained married over the entire period.[63]
Thus adults
as well as children suffer long-lasting disadvantages when they live in
communities where healthy marriage is not the norm.
The Only
Realistic Promise of Permanence
Although many cohabiting couples eventually marry, long-term cohabitation
is rare: Just one out of ten cohabiting couples are still cohabiting after
five years.[64] By contrast, 80 percent of couples who
marry for the first time are still married five years later,[65]
and if current divorce rates remain constant, for about six out of ten
younger women marrying for the first time, the act of marriage will indeed
create a lifelong bond.[66]
Marriage
is not just a "piece of paper," and alternatives to marriages
are not "just as good," in the sense of being equally likely
to produce lasting, loving ties. One British study finds that biological
parents who marry are three times more likely to be together two years
later than biological parents who cohabit, even after controlling for
maternal age, education, economic hardship, previous relationship history,
depression, and relationship quality.[67]
Individuals
choose freely whether or not to marry. But before individuals can have
that choice to make a lifelong bond, the special status of marriage must
first be created and sustained by families, faith, law, and society.
Does the Public Care? Evidence of a Growing Marriage Movement
A marriage
movement is visibly emerging; a diverse and growing group of leaders
are organizing new initiatives to strengthen marriage. These include:
The Marriage
Education Movement
The
Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education's annual Smart Marriages
conference, which brings together leaders in all areas of the marriage
movement, including the secular, religious, scholarly, and public policy
sectors, has grown from 600 attendees in 1997 to 1,200 in 1999. The Coalition
serves as an information clearinghouse for the media, legislators, scholars,
and community organizers. Its e-newsletter goes to several thousand marriage
educators; lay ministers and clergy; counselors; therapists; journalists;
legislators; family lawyers; and other leaders in the marriage movement.
Its directory of programs (www.smartmarriages.com) has increased from
15 in 1997 to 140 in 2000. The Smart Marriages conference trains approximately
400 marriage educators each year in intensive pre- and post-conference
training institutes.
In
Minnesota and Utah, new community marriage initiatives have hosted (or
are planning to host) marriage education conferences to train therapists,
educators, and clergy in the latest marriage preparation techniques. The
goals of the Minnesota Marriage Initiative, for example, are "to
generate community support to help people achieve their goal of a successful,
lifelong marriage." In Philadelphia, the Family Relations Success
Council has a similar goal of raising awareness of premarital education
and divorce prevention programs among clergy, lay ministers, mental health
providers, counselors, social workers, psychologists, family life educators,
business leaders, attorneys, judges, and family advocates.
The African American Family Life Education Program, a collaborative partnership
between the Indiana University School of Social Work and its community
partners, aims to teach the knowledge, skills, attitudes, and values necessary
to create stable and satisfying families. One of the modules, the seven-week
African American Marriage Enrichment (AAME) program aims to strengthen
committed relationships between men and women.[68]
Chesterfield County in Virginia recently became the first U.S. County
to subsidize marriage education courses. Pat Cullen, a director at the
county mental health clinic, helped create the program after witnessing
the limited returns-"too little, too late"-to a county-mandated
divorce education program.
Saddened by divorce court carnage, court workers in Cobb County, Georgia,
created their own four-hour marriage education course, staffed by volunteer
therapists and financed in part by asking jurors voluntarily to donate
their jury-duty pay.
The U.S. military recently began teaching marriage education skills (such
as PREP, Pairs, and Couples Communication)[69] on military
bases around the world.
Growing
numbers of hospitals are adding marriage education components to their
childbirth classes, such as the Becoming Parents Program, developed by
Pam Jordan at the University of Washington.
In 1999, the Texas Association for Marriage and Family Therapy issued
a white paper calling on the state to fund "effective relationship
and marriage skills" programs, as well as making premarital education
a prerequisite to obtaining a marriage license.
Oklahoma, Florida, Minnesota, Maryland, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Michigan,
and other states have passed or are considering passing laws giving tax
incentives or marriage-license discounts to engaged couples who agree
to take marriage preparation courses.
The Faith-Based
Marriage Movement
The
growth of Marriage Savers, a lay ministry headed by Harriet and Mike McManus
that has helped 5,500 clergy in 125 cities organize Community Marriage
Policies and Covenants. For these programs, clergy agree to require engaged
couples to undergo four months of marriage preparation, encourage marriage
enrichment and intervention programs such as Marriage Encounter or Family
Life Weekends or Retrouvaille,[70] create stepfamily
support groups, and train lay mentor couples to help engaged couples,
newlyweds, and troubled marriages. One such mentoring ministry, pioneered
by the Rev. and Mrs. Dick McGinnis, uses formerly troubled couples (much
like Alcoholics Anonymous) and reports saving as many as 90 percent of
the most troubled marriages.[71]
The April 6, 2000, groundbreaking ecumenical agreement by leaders of the
National Council of Churches, the Southern Baptist Convention, the U.
S. Catholic Church, and the National Association of Evangelicals to work
together to promote marriage. These efforts include organizing up to 16
regional conferences to be attended by bishop-level executives of the
different Christian traditions; drafting a statement of common goals for
strengthening marriage; creating an ecumenical ad campaign promoting marriage;
and endorsing a World Marriage Day.
The 1999 launch of a new, non-political, church-based "Covenant Marriage
Movement" (patterned on the success of Promise Keepers) by a diverse
group of 35 national Christian organizations with a combined constituency
of 31 million people. The Movement plans to hold conference events in
major cities and urge married couples to sign a renewed vow to God, each
other, their families, and their communities.
The Scholarly
Marriage Movement
Over the last ten years, a growing number of important family scholars
have modified earlier views in response to new evidence about the potentially
damaging consequences of divorce and unwed childbearing. In Second
Chances (Ticknor & Fields, 1990), The Good Marriage
(Houghton Mifflin, 1995), and The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce
(Hyperion, September 2000), Judith Wallerstein has helped to bring national
attention to the long-term consequence of divorce for children. Growing
Up with a Single Parent by Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur (Harvard
University Press, 1994), A Generation at Risk by Paul Amato and
Alan Booth (Harvard University Press, 1997), and The Case for Marriage
by Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher (Doubleday, October 2000) are also
examples of this type of scholarly work.
Other recent scholarly initiatives include:
In May 1995, the Council on Families, a nonpartisan and interdisciplinary
group of family scholars and writers, released Marriage in America:
A Report to the Nation, urging new action to "increase the proportion
of children who grow up with their two married parents and decrease the
proportion who do not."
In November 1996, the Communitarian Network sponsored a "Conference
on Communitarian Pro-Family Policies" that focused in part on ways
of strengthening marriage, including a new focus on marriage education
(as distinct from marriage therapy) and on the role of churches and divorce
law in strengthening marriage.[72]
In 1997, David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead established the research-oriented
National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. Its report, The State
of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America, released
annually, receives wide press attention.[73]
In June 1997, the Family Impact Seminar held a two-day roundtable of experts
and public officials in Washington, D.C. that resulted in the report,
Toward More Perfect Unions: Putting Marriage on the Public Agenda,
urging both "the federal government and key national organizations"
to "make marriage a priority."[74]
The Fragile Families and Child Well Being Survey, a major new study of
low income couples in 20 U.S. cities by Sara McLanahan and Irving Garfinkel,
will address the huge gaps in knowledge about marriage and cohabitation
among the poor.[75]
Other recently formed scholarly initiatives include Duquesne University's
Family Institute; the University of Virginia's Center for Children, Families,
and the Law; and Creighton University's Center for Marriage and Family.
In 1998, the National Institutes for Health sponsored a "Ties That
Bind" conference on marriage and family formation, leading to a book,
The Ties That Bind: Perspectives on Marriage and Cohabitation
(Aldine de Grutyer, 2000).
New marriage research labs, such as those directed by John Gottman at
the University of Washington, Howard Markman and Scott Stanley at the
University of Denver, Andrew Christiansen at UCLA, and Thomas Bradbury,
also at UCLA, are putting marriage education and therapy on a more scientific
footing.
In 2000, Oklahoma State University appointed the state's first marriage
scholar-in-residence, and is initiating baseline research on marriage
and divorce trends in the state.
At the University of Chicago Divinity School, the Religion, Culture, and
Family Project, led by Don S. Browning, has embarked on a rigorous scholarly
examination and recovery of the broad mainline Protestant marriage tradition.
Publications by the Project include: From Culture Wars to Common Ground:
Religion and the American Family Debate by Don S. Browning, Bonnie
J. Miller-McLemore, Pamela D. Couture, K. Brynolf Lyon, and Robert M.
Franklin; Covenant and Commitments by Max L. Stackhouse; and
From Sacrament to Contract by John Witte, Jr.
The newly formed Washington, D.C.-based Couples and Marriage Policy Resource
Center provides technical assistance and consultation to national, state,
and community leaders on a wide range of strategies to strengthen marriage
and two-parent families, with a special focus on helping low income and
welfare populations.[76]
The Marriage-Friendly
Fatherhood Movement
The
rise of a marriage-oriented fatherhood movement has sparked interest in
strengthening marriage by highlighting the costs of father-absence and
the importance of marriage in sustaining fatherhood. The National Fatherhood
Initiative (NFI) organizes public media campaigns on fatherhood, collaborates
with governors and mayors in local fatherhood initiatives, and is now
building local chapters. NFI, along with others, such as Charles Ballard
at the National Institute for Fatherhood and Family Revitalization, are
marriage-friendly in programming and message.
In November 1998, the Morehouse Research Institute co-sponsored the Morehouse
Conference on African American Fathers, funded in part by the Ford Foundation.
This conference led to the 1999 joint statement, Turning the Corner
on Father Absence In Black America, in which prominent, mostly African
American, scholars and reformers agreed that ". . . a key goal of
the fatherhood movement must be to encourage both enhanced marriageability
and healthy marriages."[77]
The School-Based Marriage Skills Movement
In
1998, Florida became the first state to mandate marriage and relationship
skills training in all public and private high schools.
As many as 1,000 schools in at least 35 states include marriage education
within life skills, family life, domestic science, health, teen pregnancy
and abstinence education classes.[78]
The Divorce
Law Reform Movement
New
research has led scholars to reconsider the impact of no-fault divorce
on marriage. While the scholarly debate continues, recent research suggests
that the move to unilateral divorce by itself accounts for 17 percent
of the overall increase in divorce rates between 1968 and 1988.[79]
In 1997, Louisiana became the first state, and in 1998 Arizona the second,
to pass covenant marriage laws, which give couples the option of avoiding
no-fault divorce laws, and also participating in mandatory marriage preparation
and marriage counseling. Covenant marriage bills have been proposed in
at least 20 states in the last two years.[80]
Other recently proposed marriage law reforms include requiring mutual
consent for no-fault divorces and lengthening the waiting periods for
no-fault divorces when children are involved or when one spouse contests
the divorce.[81]
New laws and/or court procedural changes have been proposed to establish
"marriage friendly" divorce mediation and education. About half
of U.S. counties now have some form of court-ordered divorce education
or mediation,[82] but most aim primarily to process
divorces more quickly and with less acrimony and litigation. The new initiatives
add two goals: to encourage reconciliation by offering a realistic picture
of the risks of divorce and by offering conflict-management skills and
mediated parenting plans early in the divorce process; and to help prevent
redivorce by offering skills-based marriage education at the point of
divorce.[83]
The Governors'
Marriage Movement
In
1999, governors in two states-Arkansas and Oklahoma-publicly made 30 to
50 percent reductions in the divorce rate an important goal of their administrations.
In
1999, Oklahoma Governor Frank Keating convened the Governor's and First
Lady's Conference on Marriage, pulling together leaders from business,
churches, government, social services, education, and the media to help
forge the nation's first state-level action plan for reducing divorce.
In March 2000, Governor Keating announced the result: an innovative new
$10 million marriage initiative, financed by using 10 percent of the state's
unspent welfare funds, making Oklahoma the nation's first state to earmark
a substantial portion of Temporary Aid to Needy Families (TANF) funds
for reducing divorce and strengthening marriage. The state's divorce reduction
plan includes community marriage covenants, a marriage resource center,
a statewide service delivery system for marriage skills training, and
a public information campaign to aid in changing the culture of divorce.
Social service caseworkers, public health nurses, counselors, and educators
will be trained and educated to promote marriage. The Governor has also
asked state agencies to review and evaluate public programs to establish
marriage-neutral or marriage-friendly policies. The state Department of
Human Services, for example, recently decided to include the income of
both partners in cohabiting (as well as married) couples in determining
assistance eligibility, thus eliminating any financial incentives for
informal unions.
In 1998, Florida Governor Lawton Chiles signed "The Florida Marriage
Preparation and Preservation Act of 1998," making Florida the first
state to require marriage skills as part of the high school curriculum.
In 1999, his successor, Jeb Bush, became the first governor to sign a
Community Marriage Policy.
In 1998, Governor Michael Leavitt of Utah organized the Governor's Commission
on Marriage, charged with identifying programs and tools to strengthen
marriage in Utah. Similar marriage summits involving marriage stakeholders
in business, health care, education, counseling, clergy, social work,
media, and marriage education have been held (or are planned) in Oklahoma,
Arkansas, Kansas, New Mexico, and Iowa.
In 1998 and 1999, governors in three states-Louisiana, Utah, and North
Carolina-signed marriage proclamations, recognizing the importance of
marriage to the public good.
In April 2000, Arizona Governor Jane Hull signed a new marriage initiative
(proposed by Rep. Mark Anderson) authorizing $1 million to develop community-based
marriage skills courses, $75,000 for subsidized marriage skills classes
for low-income couples, and $500,000 for a marriage media campaign.
In 1999, Texas Governor George W. Bush signed a bill increasing the marriage
licensing fee by $5.00 to create a premarital education manual for distribution
to all marrying couples and to fund new premarital and marital education
research. In addition, the bill directs county clerks to keep a register
of premarital educators to be supplied to potential spouses and also outlines
suggested course content for premarital education.
Other
recent state initiatives include:
In
Virginia, the public health department's Partners in Prevention program
has widened the scope of teen pregnancy programs, adding the goal of reducing
out-of-wedlock births among women in their twenties to the programs' official
goals. Innovative efforts like these recognize that, as Isabel Sawhill
has written, "The goal among those concerned about the breakdown
of the family should be to discourage both too early childbearing and
childbearing outside of marriage. Very early childbearing, even were it
to occur within marriage, is inconsistent with the growing requirements
of the economy for workers with high levels of education and with evidence
that teenage marriages are highly unstable. But we should also recognize
that the breakdown of marriage as the normative context for raising children
may have consequences for our society that are at least as profound as
the age at which childbearing begins."[84]
In Wisconsin,
the legislature designated $210,000 in unspent TANF funds to create a
new Community Marriage Policy Project to coordinate and assist local members
of the clergy to develop community-wide standards for marriage.
In 2000, proposals to encourage marriage education were passed by legislatures
in Minnesota and Maryland, but vetoed by the governors of those states.
The Civic
Marriage Movement
The
Greater Grand Rapids Community Marriage Policy, developed by civic, business,
clergy, professional leaders, and social service providers in Michigan,
establishes agreed-upon guidelines for premarital preparation and community
support for marriage in order to empower couples for healthy, lifelong
marriage.
The Chattanooga Initiative, led by First Things First, Inc., in Tennessee,
is a coordinated marriage campaign that trains marriage educators, conducts
public outreach, and mobilizes churches around marriage issues. A broad
media outreach campaign aims to educate the public, recruit marriage mentors,
and attract church partners.
In 1997, in Lenawee County, Michigan, judges, mayors, and magistrates
agreed not to marry couples unless they take a marriage preparation and
skills course. On May 11, 2000, Lenawee County held a divorce mediation
summit (including leaders from academia, the bar association, social work,
and the courts) to find new ways to use divorce education and mediation
to encourage reconciliation and reduce divorce. A proposed new Michigan
court rule would give judges new authority to require divorce mediation
earlier in the process, when reconciliation is more likely to be possible.
Nonprofit community-based organizations across the country are using public/private
partnerships-including local, state, and federal governments; philanthropic
organizations; businesses; the United Way; and individual donors-to provide
family and marriage strengthening services. Comprehensive community-based
"one stop shopping" family centers are being established in
churches and synagogues, schools, and community centers. Culturally relevant
services are offered to family members within a certain geographic area,
thus strengthening the social support network and community.[85]
Nonprofit citizens organizations in Michigan, Washington, South Carolina,
Georgia, New Jersey, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Alabama, among
others, have made strengthening marriage and reducing divorce significant
parts of their agendas. In the state of Washington, for example, the Washington
Family Council (WFC) is conducting ongoing research into the attitudes
of Washingtonians-especially young people-on marriage, divorce, and family
life, and has created a Marriage Builders program for local clergy. To
date, according to the WFC, 550 Washington churches have signed 18 "community
marriage agreements," representing more than 15 counties and 130
cities and towns.
The Federal
Marriage Movement
In
2000, both Vice President Al Gore and Governor George W. Bush offer proposals
to reduce the marriage penalties in the federal tax code.
The currently pending "Fathers Count" and "Responsible
Fatherhood" U. S. Congressional legislative initiatives both recognize
that strengthening fatherhood requires more and better approaches to promoting
both marriage and marriageability among low-income fathers.
The passage of the 1996 Welfare Reform Act made promoting marriage a goal
of federal welfare policy and opened the doors to new state marriage initiatives
using unspent welfare funds. Three out of the four legal goals of welfare
law are now marriage-related, including "promoting . . . marriage,"
"encourage . . . two-parent families," and "reduce . .
. out-of-wedlock" births.[86] A new study suggests
that welfare reform can increase marriage and reduce divorce (and also
domestic violence) in low-income families.[87]
Leaders in the marriage movement are also calling on federal agencies,
including the U.S. Census Bureau and the National Center for Health Statistics,
to put marriage back on the research agenda and to make collecting accurate
data on marriage and divorce a higher priority.
What Should We Do? A Call to the Nation
We call upon
America's civic, political, moral, religious, professional, policy making,
and intellectual leaders to join with us in the great task of renewing
a marriage culture. We propose five principles to guide our effort:
1. Make supporting
marriage-not just marriage neutrality-the goal. Healthy marriages benefit
the whole community. Conversely, when marriages fail, huge personal and
public costs are generated. If we can help more marriages to succeed,
it would be foolish and wrong to settle for policies that are merely neutral
about marriage.
2. Respect the special status of marriage. Do not extend the benefits
of marriage to couples who could marry, but choose not to. Offering the
social and legal benefits of marriage to cohabiting couples unfairly and
unwisely weakens the special option of marriage.
3. Reconnect marriage and childbearing. Do not discourage married couples
from having children as they choose, and encourage young men and women
to wait to have children until they have made good marriages, not just
until they have high school diplomas or turn twenty-one.
4. Do not discourage marital interdependence by penalizing unpaid work
in homes and communities. Couples should be free to divide up labor however
they choose without pressure from policies that discriminate against at-home
parenting and other activities that serve civil society.
5. Promote
both the ideal of marital permanence and the aspiration couples today
have for more satisfying marriage relationships.
Next
Steps
We offer
these concrete suggestions as starting points. Not all of us agree with
every single suggestion, but we are united in agreeing that it is time
to engage in substantive deliberation about what can be done to strengthen
marriage:
To married
couples:
Deepen your commitment to your marriage promise. Seek clergy, marriage
mentors, or professional counselors who are not "marriage neutral,"
but committed to helping you and your marriage succeed. If your marriage
has recovered from serious troubles, consider volunteering at (or starting)
a marriage mentoring program at your local church, synagogue, temple or
other community forum to help turn around other marriages.
To parents:
Make raising children who succeed in marriage at least as important a
goal as raising children who succeed in careers. Ideally, parents should
view this goal as part of a larger effort to resist the intrusion of market
mores into family life, the beginning of a larger fight for "a new
bottom line" in which institutions and social practices are seen
as "productive" not only to the extent that they maximize money
and power, but also to the extent that they maximize people's capacity
to value love, sustain their marriages and to raise emotionally and physically
healthy children. Parents who want their children to marry before having
children, and who prefer marriage to cohabitation, should explicitly communicate
this message to their children. If, as a parent, you want to tell your
children that sex is best reserved for marriage, do not let unmarried
couples sleep together in your own home. Take advantage of the resources
of your spiritual tradition; faith can place skills within the context
of deep religious meaning and of commitment to the divine purposes of
marriage.
To friends and family members:
When people you care about are facing divorce or marital problems, offer
them your help and your hope. Refer them to mentor couples or marriage
intervention, counseling, or education programs. Remind them - despite
how they may feel today-that staying unhappily married may not be the
only option: In one study of a nationally representative sample, three
out of four very unhappily married couples that did not divorce were able
to turn their marriages around.[88]
To clergy and faith communities:
Recover
your historic role as custodians of the marriage covenant or sacrament.
Deepen your own and your congregation's understanding of the importance
of marriage as a sign and symbol of divine love. Create or improve faith-based
marriage preparation programs, incorporating the latest skills research
without subordinating the religious dimension of marriage. New research
is showing that trained clergy and lay leaders can be even more effective
marriage educators than the best-trained professional counselors and therapists.[89]
Marriage skills help committed couples negotiate their way to more satisfying
relationships. But they cannot tell couples as persuasively why marriage
matters. Clergy are thus often in a unique position to offer struggling
couples new hope and new reasons to resolve their marital problems.
Develop lay marriage mentoring ministries to help engaged, newlywed, and
troubled couples. Lay mentor couples can play a role that no professional
can. Alcoholics Anonymous is as successful, or more successful, than the
most highly trained professional in getting alcoholics sober, because
people who have been there can provide daily support, skills, tips, and,
above all, inspiration: the difficult faith that success is possible.
Embrace the goal of lowering divorce in your faith community and your
denomination. Maintain the integrity of marriage vows exchanged in your
church, requiring all couples who marry to participate in a serious, theologically
informed program of church-sponsored premarital education. Create a marriage
culture within your religious community that is distinct. Educate your
faith community about the value and importance of marriage. Be aware of
research on the benefits of marriage and the consequences of divorce as
well as the existence of effective marriage preparation mentoring and
interventions.[90] Convey a clear message that marriage
is not just a private matter, but an accountable promise before God and
the faith community.
To youth pastors, abstinence educators, and other community youth
workers:
Today's
young people need positive, moving portraits of the good marriage, and
of the value and importance of marriage for adults and children. They
also need new hope that they, too, can, through marriage, achieve a loving,
lasting family bond. Do not wait until children are grown, or couples
are engaged, to begin the process of marriage preparation and education
in your congregation or community. Reconnect marriage and childbearing
in the minds of young people; point out the limits of cohabitation for
adults and children alike.
To marriage
counselors, therapists, and educators:
Take
advantage of new marriage therapy and education research, especially new
models of healthy marriage and marriage intervention that are on a far
sounder scientific footing.
Treat your clients as spouses and parents, and not just as individuals.
While recognizing that not all marriages should be supported, we believe
that marriage counselors should embrace the obligation to consider the
interests of the family as a whole, including dependent children, and
not just the desires of adult clients, in counseling those with marital
problems.
To obstetricians, pediatricians, pediatric and obstetric nurses, Lamaze
and La Leche instructors, and other medical professionals:
Educate
yourself on the importance of healthy marriage for children's physical,
mental, and emotional well-being. Recognize that the birth of a child
is a highly stressful time in marriage and therefore a potential flash
point for divorce. Look for opportunities to incorporate marriage and
parenting support into the professional relationship. Encourage your medical
facility to offer marriage and parenting education programs, such as "Boot
Camp for New Dads" or the "Becoming Parents Program." Helping
more young married couples successfully negotiate the stress that parenting
places on marriages would be a major contribution to public health and
to children's well-being.
To family lawyers, bar associations, and other legal groups:
Remember
that lawyers are officers of the court, invested by the state with considerable
authority, and that you have a grave responsibility as counselor as well
as advocate. Do not forget that the plans that the parents make for children
will last far beyond your stewardship and will influence their entire
life. Encourage clients to consider alternatives to divorce, where domestic
violence is not an issue. Maintain a list of marriage intervention, counseling,
and education programs to offer to clients who express ambivalence about
divorce or interest in reconciliation. Maintain a similar list of professionals
with expertise in working with children to buffer the trauma of divorce.
Become an advocate within the legal profession for divorce laws and court
rules that aim to promote reconciliations, where appropriate, rather than
simply processing divorce as rapidly as possible. Oppose legal changes
(such as those recently adopted by the American Law Institute) that would
weaken the special legal status of marriage by extending marital benefits
to cohabitors who are legally able to marry.
To federal, state, and local governments:
Make
supporting and promoting marriage an explicit goal of domestic policy,
accompanied by explicit criteria to measure success, such as a reduction
in the divorce rate and an increase in the proportion of children born
inside of marriage.
Increase funding for marriage research, including: basic research on marital
processes that impact mental health and the success of marriages; intervention
research designed to investigate ways to improve marriages; and evaluation
research to establish the impact on divorce and marriage of current and
proposed public policy changes in taxes, welfare, marriage education,
divorce law, and court-connected mediation, parenting, and divorce education
plans. Support new research to investigate the economic costs shifted
to business and taxpayers when marriages fail or fail to form.
Given the powerful relationship between marriage and mental and physical
health, the National Center for Health Statistics, the National Institutes
of Health, the National Institute for Mental Health, and state public
health departments should make collecting and analyzing data on marriage
and divorce an important priority.
Consider using part of unspent welfare (TANF) money to fund marriage-supportive
activities, from sponsoring marriage mentoring and education campaigns
for low-income communities to public education campaigns about the value
and importance of marriage, especially for children. Earmark funds for
evaluation research, so that effective program components can be identified
and replicated.
Consider subsidizing marriage education by providing vouchers, free classes,
or tax credits to those served by counselors, therapists, and lay educators
who donate their services. Promote community marriage policies, premarital
inventories, and marriage education programs through marriage license
tax breaks, subsidized classes, and vouchers for low-income couples.
Reduce marriage penalties in the tax code and in other programs, without
creating inadvertent homemaker penalties in their stead.
Incorporate a marriage dimension in all existing teen pregnancy, fatherhood,
and sex education programs. Make persuading teens to wait to have children
until they are mature enough to make a good marriage-not just until they
get a high school diploma or turn twenty-one-an explicit goal of all government-subsidized
teen pregnancy programs.[91]
Hold marriage summits to pull together stakeholders in marriage from religious,
business, counseling and therapy, child welfare, and family organizations,
as well as from federal, state, and local governments, to highlight the
importance of marriage.
Highlight the public health and other benefits of marriage through public
education campaigns. Alternatively, education campaigns could focus on
the risks of divorce or unwed parenting to children and on the relative
loss of control that divorce brings to both custodial and noncustodial
parents.
Reform court-connected divorce education and mediation programs so that
they seek to facilitate reconciliations, rather than merely expedite the
divorce process. Fund evaluation research to see which divorce education
programs meet the goal of both reducing divorce acrimony and preventing
unnecessary divorce.
Reconsider no-fault divorce laws and find innovative new ways to give
legal weight to the marriage vow. For example, a longer waiting period
(at least 18 months for contested no-fault divorces), slows down the divorce
process, gives counseling a chance to work, offers some power to the spouse
who wants to stay married, and at the very least gives the spouse who
is being divorced time to recover emotionally before being plunged into
life-altering legal decisions.
Other divorce law reform proposals include offering couples the option
of stronger "covenant marriage" vows; allowing judges to consider
fault in custody or property division in instances of one-sided, walkaway
divorces; and requiring mutual consent for no-fault divorces. Other states
have passed, or are considering, legislation requiring couples contemplating
divorce to attend classes on the possible repercussions of divorce for
their children's well-being.[92]
We seek nothing
less than to rebuild the shattered dream of lasting love and to pass on
a healthier, happier, and more successful marriage culture to the next
generation. Toward this end, we pledge our time, our resources, and our
intellectual and moral energy.
Signatories
Affiliations are listed for identification purposes only.
Enola Aird,
Director of the Motherhood Project, Institute for American Values (New
York, NY)
Representative
Mark Anderson, Chairman, Human Services Committee, Arizona House of Representatives
(Phoenix, AZ)
Charles Ballard,
Founder and CEO, Institute for Responsible Fatherhood (Washington, D.C.)
Brent A.
Barlow, Ph.D., Chair, Governor's Commission on Marriage, Utah (Orem, UT)
Jonetta Rose
Barras, Author of Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl? The Impact
of Fatherlessness on Black Women (Washington, D.C.)
Julie Baumgardner,
M.S., Associate Director, First Things First, Inc. (Chattanooga, TN)
Dr. Steven
Bayme, Director of the William Petschek National Jewish Family Center,
American Jewish Committee (New York, NY)
Robert Bellah,
Emeritus Professor of Sociology, University of California at Berkeley
and Co-Author of Habits of the Heart
Lorraine
Blackman, African American Family Life Education Program, Indiana University,
School of Social Work (Indianapolis, IN)
David Blankenhorn,
President, Institute for American Values (New York, NY)
Rep. Elaine
Bloom, State Representative and Candidate for the United States Congress
(Miami Beach, Florida)
Senator Mark
Boitano, New Mexico State Senate (Albuquerque, NM)
Rae Young
Bond, President and Executive Director, First Things First, Inc. (Chattanooga,
TN)
David Bosworth,
Author, University of Washington (Seattle, WA)
Sharon Weston
Broome, Louisiana State Representative, District 29 (Baton Rouge, LA)
Hon. Helen
E. Brown, Judge of the 3rd Judicial Circuit Court (Detroit, MI)
Don S. Browning,
Alexander Campbell Professor and Director of the Religion, Culture, and
Family Project, Divinity School, University of Chicago
David L.
Caprara, President, The Empowerment Network (Washington, D.C.)
Allan C.
Carlson, Ph.D., President, The Howard Center (Rockford, IL)
Obie Clayton,
Jr., Executive Director, Morehouse Research Institute and Professor of
Sociology, Morehouse College (Atlanta, GA)
Bill Coffin,
Navy Quality of Life Program Specialist and Marriage Preparation Coordinator,
Archdiocese of Washington, D.C.
David Orgon
Coolidge, Director, Marriage Law Project, Columbus School of Law, The
Catholic University of America; Ethics and Public Policy Center (Washington,
D.C.)
Florence
Creighton, MSW, LCSW, Partner, Family Wellness Associates (Gilroy, CA)
John Crouch,
Americans for Divorce Reform (Arlington, VA)
Midge Dector,
Author (New York, NY)
Rita DeMaria,
Ph.D., Founder, Family Relations Success Council, and Director and Founder,
The Relationship Center (Spring House, PA)
William J.
Doherty, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Family Social Science, University
of Minnesota (St. Paul, MN)
George Doub,
M.Div., MFT, Co-Founder and Partner, Family Wellness Associates (Scotts
Valley, CA)
Al Dueck,
Professor of Psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary (Pasadena, CA)
Don E. Eberly,
Director, The Civil Society Project (Lancaster, PA)
Jean Bethke
Elshtain, Laura Spelman Rockefeller Professor of Social and Political
Ethics, Divinity School, University of Chicago
Martha Farrell
Erickson, Ph.D., Director, Children, Youth, and Family Consortium, University
of Minnesota (St. Paul, MN)
Amitai Etzioni,
Author of the Spirit of Community and University Professor, George Washington
University (Washington, D.C.)
Patrick F.
Fagan, The William H. G. FitzGerald Fellow in Family and Culture Studies,
The Heritage Foundation (Washington, D.C.)
Dr. Robert
M. Franklin, President, Interdenominational Theological Center (Atlanta,
GA)
Francis Fukuyama,
Omer L. and Nancy Hirst Professor of Public Policy, George Mason University
(Arlington, VA)
Maggie Gallagher,
Affiliate Scholar, Institute for American Values (New York, NY)
William A.
Galston, Professor, School of Public Affairs, University of Maryland (College
Park, MD)
Michael Geer,
President, Pennsylvania Family Institute (Harrisburg, PA)
Rabbi Marc
A. Gellman, Ph.D., President of the New York Board of Rabbis
Mary Ann
Glendon, Learned Hand Professor of Law, Harvard University
Norval Glenn,
Ashbel Smith Professor of Sociology and Stiles Professor of American Studies,
University of Texas at Austin
Lori H. Gordon,
Ph.D., Founder/Director, PAIRS Foundation, Ltd., PAIRS (Practical Application
of Intimate Relationship Skills) (Weston, FL)
Rabbi Morris
Gordon, Ph.D., Chairman of the Board, PAIRS Foundation, Ltd. (Weston,
FL)
Bernard Guerney,
Jr., Director, National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® (Bethesda,
MD)
David Gutmann,
Ph.D., Emeritus Professor of Psychology, Department of Psychiatry, Northwestern
University Medical School (Chicago, IL)
Hon. Bill
Hardiman, Mayor of Kentwood, Michigan
Terry Hargrave,
Ph.D., Professor, West Texas A&M University (Canyon, TX); Author of
The Essential Humility of Marriage; and Past President, Texas Association
for Marriage and Family Therapy
Archibald
D. Hart, Ph.D., FPPR, Professor of Psychology, Graduate School of Psychology,
Fuller Theological Seminary (Pasadena, CA)
Alan Hawkins,
Associate Director, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University (Provo,
UT)
Dr. Steve
A. Hayner, President, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (Madison, WI)
Dr. Joanne
Heaney-Hunter, Associate Professor of Theology, St. John's University,
(New York, NY)
Harville
Hendrix, Author of Getting the Love You Want and Co-Founder, Institute
for Imago Relationship Therapy (Tenafly, NJ)
The Rev.
Dr. Roberta Hestenes, Senior Pastor, Solana Beach Presbyterian Church
(Solana, CA) and former president of Eastern College (St. Davids, PA)
Sylvia Ann
Hewlett, Fellow at Harvard's Center for the Study of Values in Public
Life, Founder and Chairman of the National Parenting Association (New
York, NY)
Wade F. Horn,
Ph.D., President, The National Fatherhood Initiative (Gaithersburg, MD)
Kay Hymowitz,
Senior Fellow, The Manhattan Institute, and Affiliate Scholar, Institute
for American Values (New York, NY)
Dan Jarvis,
Director of Research and Policy, Michigan Family Forum (Lansing, MI)
Pamela L.
Jordan, Ph.D., R.N., Department of Family and Child Nursing, University
of Washington and Developer, Becoming Parents Program (Seattle, WA)
Charlene
R. Kamper, MA, CFLE, Educator, Redlands High School (Redlands, CA) and
Author of Connections: Relationships and Marriage; Connections: Dating
and Emotions; and Being Yourself
Amy A. Kass,
University of Chicago
Leon R. Kass,
University of Chicago
Jeff Kemp,
Executive Director, Washington Family Council (Bellevue, WA)
Anna Mae
Kobbe, Ph.D., National leader in family life education (Washington, D.C.)
Thomas C.
Kohler, Professor of Law, Boston College Law School
Michael G.
Lawler, Amelia B. and Emil G. Graff Chair in Theological Studies, and
Director, Center for Marriage and Family, Creighton University (Omaha,
NE)
Delegate
John R. Leopold, Deputy Minority Whip, House of Delegates (Annapolis,
MD)
Rabbi Michael
Lerner, Editor, TIKKUN Magazine (San Francisco, CA) and Author of Spirit
Matters
Dana Mack,
Director, Childhood & Adolescence Project, Institute for American
Values (New York, NY)
Barbara Markey,
Ph.D., FOCCUS, Inc., and Creighton University Center for Marriage and
Family (Omaha, NE)
Howard J.
Markman, Ph.D., Co-Author of Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps
for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love; Co-Developer, Prevention
and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP); and Psychologist, University
of Denver
H. Richard
McCord, Ed.D., Executive Director, US Catholic Bishops Committee on Marriage
and Family Life (Washington, D.C.)
Michael J.
McManus, President, Marriage Savers (Potomac, MD)
Lawrence
M. Mead, Professor of Politics, New York University
Sherod Miller,
Ph.D., Co-Developer of COUPLE COMMUNICATION (Evergreen, CO)
Barbara Morrison-Rodriguez,
Ph.D., Associate Dean and Research Professor, The Florida Mental Health
Institute, University of South Florida (Tampa, FL)
Richard J.
Mouw, Ph.D., President, Fuller Theological Seminary (Pasadena, CA)
John E. Murray,
Jr., President, Duquesne University, and Executive Director, Duquesne
University Family Institute (Pittsburgh, PA)
David G.
Myers, Professor of Psychology, Hope College (Holland, MI) and Author,
The American Paradox: Spiritual Hunger in an Age of Plenty
Mary Myrick,
Oklahoma Marriage Initiative (Oklahoma City, OK)
Father Richard
John Neuhaus, President, Institute on Religion and Public Life (New York,
NY)
Steven L.
Nock, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, University of Virginia (Charlottesville,
VA) and Author of Marriage and Men's Lives
David H.
Olson, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota
Theodora
Ooms, Couples and Marriage Policy Resource Center (Washington, DC)
Les Parrott,
III, Ph.D. and Leslie Parrott, Ed.D., Center for Relationship Development,
Seattle Pacific University (Seattle, WA) and Scholars-In-Residence for
the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative (Oklahoma City, OK)
Mitchell
B. Pearlstein, Ph.D., President, Center of the American Experiment (Minneapolis,
MN)
Dwight N.
Peterson, Associate Professor of Biblical Studies, Eastern College (St.
Davids, PA)
Margaret
Kim Peterson, Assistant Professor of Theological Studies, Eastern College
(St. Davids, PA)
Mary Pipher,
Author of The Shelter of Each Other and Another Country:
Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders (Lincoln, NE)
David Popenoe,
Professor of Sociology and Co-Director, The Marriage Project, Rutgers
University (New Brunswick/Piscataway, NJ)
Stephen G.
Post, Ph.D., Center for Biomedical Ethics, School of Medicine, Case Western
University (Cleveland, OH)
Arthur E.
Rasmussen, Board Member, Institute for American Values (New York, NY)
Catherine
(Kay) Reed, President, The Dibble Fund for Marriage Education (Berkeley,
CA)
Jerry Regier,
Cabinet Secretary for Health and Human Services, State of Oklahoma
Gloria G.
Rodriguez, Ph.D., President/CEO, AVANCE, Inc. (San Antonio, TX)
Senator Tom
Rossin, Florida Senate President-Designate
Hon. James
E. Sheridan, District Judge (Adrian, MI)
Ronald J.
Sider, President, Evangelicals for Social Action
Charles Kent
Smith, M.D., Vice Dean for Education and Academic Affairs; Dorothy Jones
Weatherhead Professor; and Chairman, Department of Family Medicine, Case
Western Reserve University School of Medicine (Cleveland, OH)
Diane Sollee,
Founder and Director, Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education
(Washington, DC)
Katherine
S. Spaht, Jules F. and Frances L. Landry Professor of Law, Louisiana State
University
Scott M.
Stanley, Co-Director, Center for Marital and Family Studies and Adjunct
Professor of Psychology, University of Denver
Glenn T.
Stanton, Executive Family Editor, Christianity.com
Peter Uhlenberg,
Professor of Sociology, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
Mary Stewart
Van Leeuwen, Ph.D., Resident Scholar, Hestenes Center for Christian Women
in Leadership, Eastern College (St. Davids, PA)
Maris A.
Vinovskis, Ph.D., Professor of History, University of Michigan (Ann Arbor,
MI)
Linda J.
Waite, Professor of Sociology, University of Chicago
Judith Wallerstein,
Ph.D., Founder of the Judith Wallerstein Center for the Family in Transition
(Corte Madera, CA) and Divorce Researcher and Author
Professor
Lynn D. Wardle, J. Reuben Clark Law School, Brigham Young University (Provo,
UT)
Michele Weiner-Davis,
Author of Divorce Busting
Barbara Dafoe
Whitehead, Author and Co-Director, The Marriage Project, Rutgers University
(New Brunswick/Piscataway, NJ)
James Q.
Wilson, Emeritus Professor of Management, UCLA; and Reagan Professor of
Public Policy, Pepperdine University (Malibu, CA)
John Witte,
Jr., Jonas Robitscher Professor of Law and Ethics and Director, Law and
Religion Program, Emory University (Atlanta, GA)
Endnotes
1.
Andrew J. Cherlin, 1992. Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage (Cambridge,
MA: Harvard University Press): 84-86.
2. For the effects of parental income and education on
offspring's marital quality and divorce risk, see Paul R. Amato and Alan
Booth, 1997. A Generation At Risk: Growing Up in an Era of Family
Upheaval (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press): 89-99.
3. M. Belinda Tucker, (in press) 2000. "Marital Values
and Expectations in Context: Results From a 21 City Survey" in Linda
J. Waite et. al (eds) The Ties That Bind: Perspectives on Marriage
and Cohabitation (New York: Aldine de Gruyter).
4. Christine Bachrach, Michelle J. Hindin, and Elizabeth
Thomson, (in press) 2000. "The Changing Shape of the Ties that Bind"
in Linda J. Waite, et. al. (eds) The Ties That Bind: Perspectives
on Marriage and Cohabitation (New York: Aldine de Gruyter).
5. J. Abma, et. al., 1997. "Fertility, Family Planning,
and Women's Health: New Data from the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth."
National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health Statistics
23(19). See Table 36.
6. Larry Bumpass and Hsien-Hen Lu, 1998. "Trends
in Cohabitation and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the
U.S." Paper presented at the 1998 annual meeting of the Population
Association of America (www.ssc.wisc.edu/cde/cdewp/home.htm): See Table
6.
7. See, for example, Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra
Blakeslee, (in press) 2000. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce
(New York: Hyperion); Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, 1994. Growing
Up With A Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps (Cambridge, MA: Harvard
University Press); Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997. A Generation
At Risk: Growing Up in an Era of Family Upheaval (Cambridge, MA:
Harvard University Press); Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, (in press)
2000. The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier
and Better-Off Financially (New York: Doubleday).
8. See, for example, John M. Gottman, 1999. The Marriage
Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital Therapy (New York: Norton);
N. S., Jacobson, A. Christensen, S. E. Prince, J. Cordova, and K. Eldridge,
2000. "Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: An Acceptance-Based,
Promising New Treatment For Couple Discord" Journal of Consulting
and Clinical Psychology: 68(2). A. Christensen, and N.S. Jacobson,
1999. Reconcilable Differences. (New York: Guilford): S. M. Stanley,
W. C. Lobitz, and F. Dickson, 1999. "Using What We Know: Commitment
and Cognitions in Marital Therapy" in W. Jones and J. Adams (eds)
Handbook of Interpersonal Commitment and Relationship Stability.
(New York: Plenum); L. C. Blackman, 1995. "Marriage Enrichment: A
Potential Strategy for Promoting Marital Satisfaction and Stability among
African Americans" Black Caucus 2(1): 21-30.
9. U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1998. Statistical Abstract
of the United States: 1998 (Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of
Commerce). See Table 92.
10. U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1998. Statistical
Abstract of the United States: 1998 (Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department
of Commerce). See Table 101.
11. Norval Glenn, 1996. "Values, Attitudes, and
the State of American Marriage" in David Popenoe, Jean Bethke Elshtain,
and David Blankenhorn (eds) Promises to Keep: Decline and Renewal
of Marriage in America (Lanham, MD: Rowman and Littlefield): 15-33.
See Figures 2.2. and 2.3.
12. Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997. A Generation
at Risk: Growing Up in an Era of Family Upheaval (Cambridge, MA:
Harvard University Press): 115.
13. The Roper Center for Public Opinion Research, 1998.
"The Family, Marriage: Highly Valued" The Public Perspective
(February/March): 17-18.
14. Lynn D. Wardle, 1999. "Divorce Reform at the
Turn of the Millennium: Certainties and Possibilities" Family
Law Quarterly 33: 783ff.
15. Norval Glenn, 1996. "Values, Attitudes, and
the State of American Marriage," in David Popenoe, Jean Bethke Elshtain,
and David Blankenhorn (eds) Promises to Keep: Decline and Renewal
of Marriage in America (Lanham, MD: Rowman and Littlefield): 15-33.
16. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, 1999.
The State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America
(New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project): June. See Figures
13 and 14. Available online at: http://marriage.rutgers.edu
17. David
Popenoe, 1999. Changes in Teen Attitudes Toward Marriage, Cohabitation
and Children, 1975-1995 (New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage
Project): 1-10.
18. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, 1999.
The State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America
(New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project): June. See Figure 16.
19. Amara Bachu, 1998. Trends In Marital Status of
U.S. Women at First Birth: 1930 to 1994 (Washington D.C., U.S. Bureau
of the Census). Available online at: http://www.census.governor/population/www/techpap.html
20. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, 1999.
The State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America
(New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project): June. See Figure 17.
21. Tom W. Smith, 1999. "The Emerging 21st Century
Family:" GSS Social Change Report No. 42 (Chicago: National
Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago). See Table 2.
22. Larry Bumpass and Hsein-Hen Lu, 1998. "Trends
in Cohabitation and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the
U.S." Paper presented at the 1998 annual meeting of the Population
Association of America. Available online at: www.ssc.wisc.edu/cde/cdewp/home.htm
23. Thomas G. O'Connor, et. al., 1999. "Frequency
and Predictors of Relationship Dissolution in a Community Sample in England,"
Journal of Family Psychology 13(3): 436-449.
24. Neil G. Bennett, et. al, 1995. "The Influence
of Nonmarital Childbearing on the Formation of First Marriages" Demography
32(1): 47-62.
25. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, 1999.
Should We Live Together? What Young Adults Need to Know About Cohabitation
Before Marriage (New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project).
26. William G. Axinn and Jennifer S. Barber, 1997. "Living
Arrangements and Family Formation Attitudes in Early Adulthood" Journal
of Marriage and the Family 59(3) (August): 595ff.
27. Paul R. Amato and Stacy J. Rogers, 1999. "Do
Attitudes Toward Divorce Affect Marital Quality?" Journal of
Family Issues 20(1): 69-86.
28. See The National Campaign To Prevent Teen Pregnancy's
website: www.teenpregnancy.org
29. Stephanie Ventura, et. al., 1999. "Births: Final
Data for 1997" National Vital Statistics Reports 47(18):
Table 18.
30. According to the National Center for Health Statistics,
the divorce rate per 1,000 married women rose from 9.2 in 1960 to a peak
in 1979 at 22.8, declining to 20.9 divorces per 1,000 wives by 1990. See:
www.cdc.governor/nchs/fastats/pdf/43-9s-t1.pdf ; see also, Tim B. Heaton,
1998. Factors Contributing to Increasing Marital Stability in the
United States (Provo, UT: Center for Studies of the Family, Brigham
Young University) (October).
31. Stephanie Ventura, et. al., 1999. "Births: Final
Data for 1997" National Vital Statistics Reports 47(18):
Tables 17 and 18.
32. Community marriage policies have yet to receive rigorous
scholarly evaluation, but for prima facie reports of their success, see,
for example, Michael McManus, 1995. Marriage Savers: Helping Your
Friends and Family Avoid Divorce (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan); Pam
Belluck, 2000. "States Declare War on Divorce Rates, Before Any 'I
Dos'" The New York Times (April 22); Larry B. Stammer, 1997.
"A Crusade to Save Marriages" Los Angeles Times (March
17).
33. See, for example, John Gottman, 1999. The Marriage
Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital Therapy (New York: W.W. Norton);
S. M. Stanley and H. J. Markman, 1998. "Acting on What We Know: The
Hope of Prevention" in Theodora Ooms (ed) Strategies to Strengthen
Marriage: What We Know, What We Need to Know (Washington D.C.: Family
Impact Seminar).
34. Theodora Ooms suggests that there are at least six
reasons why some people treat marriage as the "M-word". See
Theodora Ooms, 1998. Towards More Perfect Unions: Putting Marriage
on the Public Agenda (Washington D.C.: Family Impact Seminar) (July):
10-11. Available from [email protected].
35. David T. Ellwood, 1988. Poor Support: Poverty
and the American Family (New York: Basic Books): 46.
36. Larry Bumpass quoted in Karen Peterson, 2000. "Changing
the Shape of the American Family" USA Today (April 18).
37. Don Browning, 2000. "What Is Marriage? An Exploration".
Paper presented at the Institute for American Values' Marriage Consultation,
New York City (January 25): 9.
38. Don Browning, 2000. "What Is Marriage? An Exploration".
Paper presented at the Institute for American Values' Marriage Consultation,
New York City (January 25): 11.
39. Tabulations by Linda J. Waite and Kara Joyner from
the National Health and Social Life Survey. See Linda J. Waite and Maggie
Gallagher, (in press) 2000. The Case for Marriage: Why Married People
Are Happier, Healthier, and Better-Off Financially (New York: Doubleday):
See Chapter 6.
40. See, for example, Steven L. Nock, 1998. Marriage
in Men's Lives (New York, Oxford: Oxford University Press).
41. Lingxin Hao, 1996. "Family Structure, Private
Transfers, and the Economic Well-Being of Families with Children"
Social Forces 75: 269-292.
42. Frank F. Furstenberg, Jr., and Andrew Cherlin, 1991.
Divided Families: What Happens To Children When Parents Part (Cambridge,
MA: Harvard University Press): 35-36. See also, Adam Shapiro and James
David Lambert, 1999. "Longitudinal Effects of Divorce on the Quality
of the Father-Child Relationship and on Fathers' Well-Being" Journal
of Marriage and the Family 61 (May): 397-408.
43. Rebekah Levin Coley and P. Lindsay Chase-Lansdale,
1999. "Stability and Change in Paternal Involvement Among Urban African
American Fathers" Journal of Family Psychology 13(3): 416-435.
44. Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, (in press) 2000.
The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier and
Better-Off Financially (New York: Doubleday): Chapter 9. See also,
for example: Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, (in press) 2000.
The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce (New York: Hyperion); Sara McLanahan
and Gary Sandefur, 1994. Growing Up With A Single Parent: What Helps,
What Hurts (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press); Paul R. Amato
and Alan Booth, 1997. A Generation At Risk: Growing Up in an Age of
Family Upheaval (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press); Lingxin
Hao, 1997. "Family Structure, Parental Input, and Child Development".
Paper presented to the Population Association of America (March); Ed Spruijt
and Martijn de Goede, 1997. "Transition in Family Structure and Adolescent
Well-Being" Adolescence 32(128) (Winter): 897ff.
45. See, for example: S. J. Creighton, 1985. "An
Epidemiological Study of Abused Children and their Families in the United
Kingdom Between 1977 and 1982" Child Abuse and Neglect 9: 441-448;
M. Daly and M. I. Wilson, 1994. "Some Differential Attributes of
Lethal Assaults on Small Children by Stepfathers versus Genetic Fathers"
Ethology and Sociobiology 15: 207-217; M. Daly and M. I. Wilson,
1996. "Violence against Stepchildren" Current Directions in
Psychological Science 3: 77-81.
46. Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997. A Generation
At Risk: Growing Up in an Era of Family Upheaval (Cambridge, MA:
Harvard University Press): 77-78.
47. Cynthia C. Harper and Sara S. McLanahan, 1998. "Father
Absence and Youth Incarceration", Paper presented at the Annual Meeting
of the American Sociological Association (San Francisco, August).
48. Thomas J. Kneisner, et. al., 1988. "Getting
into Poverty Without a Husband, and Getting Out, With or Without"
American Economic Review 78 (May): 86-90.
49. Julia A. Heath and B. F. Kiker, 1992. "Determinants
of Spells of Poverty Following Divorce" Review of Social Economy
50 (3) (Fall): 305ff.
50. Pamela J. Smock, Wendy D. Manning, and Sanjiv Gupta,
1999. "The Effect of Marriage and Divorce on Women's Economic Well-Being"
American Sociological Review, 64 (December): 794-812.
51. Johanne Boisjoly, Kathleen Mullan Harris, and Greg
J. Duncan, 1998. "Trends, Events, and Duration of Initial Welfare
Spells" Social Service Review (December): 467-492.
52. Andrew J. Cherlin, et. al., 1995. "Parental
Divorce in Childhood and Demographic Outcomes in Young Adulthood"
Demography 32: 299-318; Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997.
A Generation At Risk: Growing Up in an Age of Family Upheaval (Cambridge,
MA: Harvard University Press): 84-119.
53. Howard S. Gordon and Gary E. Rosenthal, 1995. "Impact
of Marital Status on Hospital Outcomes: Evidence from an Academic Medical
Center" Archives of Internal Medicine 155: 2465-2471.
54. Kenneth G. Manton, E. Stallard, and Max A. Woodbury,
1995. "Longitudinal Models of Disability Changes and Active Life
Expectancy in Elderly Populations: The Interaction of Sex, Age and Marital
Status" in W. Morgenstern, et. al., (eds) Modeling Noncommunicable
Diseases (Berlin: Springer Verlag); Vicki A. Freedman, 1996. "Family
Structure and the Risk of Nursing Home Admission" Journal of
Gerontology: Social Sciences 51B(2): S61-S69:
55. Jane Mauldon, 1990. "The Effects of Marital
Disruption on Children's Health" Demography 27: 431-446.
56. Ronald Angel and Jacqueline Lowe Worobey, 1988. "Single
Motherhood and Children's Health" Journal of Health and Social
Behavior 29: 38-52.
57. Nicholas Zill, 1994. "Understanding Why Children
in Stepfamilies Have More Learning and Behavior Problems than Children
in Nuclear Families" in Alan Booth and Judy Dunn (eds) Stepfamilies:
Who Benefits, Who Does Not? (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates):
97-106.
58. Andrew J. Cherlin, et. al., 1995. "Parental
Divorce in Childhood and Demographic Outcomes in Young Adulthood"
Demography 32: 299-318.
59. Robert L. Fllewelling and Karl E. Bauman, 1990. "Family
Structure as a Predictor of Initial Substance Use and Sexual Intercourse
in Early Adolescence" Journal of Marriage and the Family
52: 171-181.
60. For a summary of this wide body of research, see
Waite and Gallagher, (in press) 2000. The Case for Marriage: Why Married
People are Happier, Healthier, and Better-Off Financially (New York:
Doubleday).
61. Lingxin Hao, 1996. "Family Structure, Private
Transfers, and the Economic Well-Being of Families with Children"
Social Forces 75: 269-292.
62. Catherine E. Ross, John Mirowsky, and Karen Goldsteen,
1990. "The Impact of the Family on Health: Decade in Review"
Journal of Marriage and the Family 52: 1059-1078. See also, Lee A.
Lillard and Linda J. Waite, 1995. "'Til Death do Us Part: Marital
Disruption and Mortality" American Journal of Sociology
100(5) (March): 1131-1156; Yuanreng Hu and Noreen Goldman, 1990. "Mortality
Differences by Marital Status: An International Comparison" Demography
27(2) (May): 233ff.
63. Nadine F. Marks and James D. Lambert, 1998. "Marital
Status Continuity and Change Among Young and Midlife Adults: Longitudinal
Effects on Psychological Well-Being" Journal of Family Issues
19: 652ff. See also, Horwitz, White, and Howell-White, 1996. "Becoming
Married and Mental Health: A Longitudinal Study of a Cohort of Young Adults"
Journal of Marriage and the Family 58: 895-907; Linda J. Waite
and Mary Elizabeth Hughes, 1999. "At Risk on the Cusp of Old Age:
Living Arrangements and Functional Status Among Black, White, and Hispanic
Adults" Journal of Gerontology Vol 54B (3): S136-S144; Andrew
J. Cherlin et. al., 1998. "Effects of Parental Divorce on Mental
Health Throughout the Life Course" American Sociological Review
63: 239ff.; Carol Miller-Tutzauer, et. al., 1991. "Marriage and Alcohol
Use: A Longitudinal Study of 'Maturing Out'" Journal of Studies
on Alcohol 52(5): 434ff.
64. L. Bumpass and H. Lu, 1999. "Trends in Cohabitation
and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the U.S." CDE
Working Paper No. 98-15 (Madison, WI: Center for Demography and Ecology,
University of Wisconsin-Madison).
65. Joyce C. Abma, et. al., 1997. "Fertility Family
Planning, and Women's Health: New Data From the 1995 National Survey of
Family Growth". National Center for Health Statistics. Vital
Health Statistics 23 (19): See Table 36. Available online at www.cdc.governor/nchs/data/sr23_19.pdf
66. U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1992. "Marriage,
Divorce, and Remarriage in the 1990s" Current Population Reports,
P23-180 (Washington D.C.: U.S. Government Printing Office): Table C.
67. Thomas G. O'Connor et. al., 1999. "Frequency
and Predictors of Relationship Dissolution in a Community Sample in England,"
Journal of Family Psychology 13(3): 436-449.
68. For information, see www.aafle.org
69. See www.smartmarriages.com
70. See www.retrouvaille.org
71. While Marriage Savers and its associated ministries
have not received any scholarly review, there are encouraging prima facie
reports of its effectiveness in reducing divorce and rescuing troubled
marriages. For Marriage Savers' own estimates see www.marriagesavers.org
72. See www.gwu.edu/~ccps
73. See http://marriage.rutgers.edu
74. Theodora Ooms, 1998. Toward More Perfect Unions:
Putting Marriage on the Public Agenda (Washington, D.C.: Family Impact
Seminar).
75. See http://opr.princeton.edu/crcw/ff
76. See www.clasp.org
77. Available online at www.americanvalues.org
78. Major high school marriage skills curricula currently
in use include: Connections; Partners; Free Teens Relationship Training;
The Art of Loving Well; Building Relationships; and Peers. For more information,
see www.smartmarriages.com
79. Leora Friedberg, 1998. "Did Unilateral Divorce
Raise Divorce Rates? Evidence From Panel Data" American Economic
Review 88: 608-627. For the consequences of unilateral divorce laws
on intact marriages, see, for example, Jeffrey S. Gray and Michael J.
Vanderhart, (in press) 2000. "The Determinants of Wages: Does Marriage
Matter?" in Linda J. Waite, et. al. (eds) The Ties that Bind:
Perspectives on Marriage and Cohabitation (New York: Aldine de Gruyter);
Alan M. Parkman, 1998. "Why Are Married Women Working So Hard?"
International Review of Law and Economics 18 (1): 41-49; Alan
M. Parkman, 2000. Good Intentions Gone Awry: No-Fault Divorce and
the American Family (Lanham, MD: Rowman and Littlefield).
80. Lynn D. Wardle, 1999. "Divorce Reform at the
Turn of the Millennium: Certainties and Possibilities" Family
Law Quarterly 33: 783ff.
81. For up-to-date information on pending divorce law
reforms as well as model legislation, see Americans for Divorce Reform's
website: www.divorcereform.org
82. M. J. Geasler, M. J., and K. R. Blaisure, 1999. "1998
Nationwide Survey of Court-Connected Divorce Education Programs"
Family & Conciliation Courts Review, 37: 36-63.
83. See, for example, Kara G. Morrison, 2000. "Marriage
Policies Cause Community Controversy" The Detroit News (May
4). Available online at http://www.detnews.com/features/index.htm
84. Isabel Sawhill, 2000. "Welfare Reform and Reducing
Teen Pregnancy" The Public Interest 138 (Winter): 43.
85. For more information on such programs, see, for example:
www.avance.org; www.frca.org; Gloria G. Rodriguez, 1999. Raising Nuestros
Ninos: Bringing Up Latino Children in a Bicultural World (New York:
Simon and Schuster Fireside Books).
86. See, for example, Theodora Ooms, (in press) 2000.
Tapping TANF to Promote Marriage and Strengthen Two Parent Families
(Washington D.C.: Center for Law and Social Policy).
87. Virginia Knox, Cynthia Miller and Lisa A. Gennetian,
2000. Reforming Welfare and Rewarding Work: A Summary of the Final
Report on the Minnesota Family Investment Program (New York: Manpower
Demonstration Research Corporation) May. Available on line at: http://www.mdrc.org/Reports2000/MFIP/MFIPSummary.htm
88. Tabulations by Linda J. Waite from waves 1 and 2
of the National Survey of Families and Households, based only on respondents
who were married in 1987/88 and still married to the same person in 1992/94.
Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, (in press) 2000. The Case for
Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier and Better-Off Financially
(New York: Doubleday).
89. S. M. Stanley and H. J. Markman, et al, (in press)
2001. "Community Based Premarital Prevention: Clergy and Lay Leaders
on the Front Lines" Family Relations.
90. For one such study of marriage preparation components,
see Marriage Preparations in the Catholic Church: Getting it Right,
Report of A Study on the Value of Marriage Preparation in the Catholic
Church for Couples Married One through Eight Years (Omaha, NE: Center
for Marriage and Family, Creighton University): November 1995. See also
John Gottman, 1999. The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital
Therapy (New York: W.W. Norton): Chapter 1.
See, for example, Maggie Gallagher, 1999. The Age of Unwed Mothers:
Is Teen Pregnancy the Problem? (New York: Institute for American
Values).
For a listing of divorce reform proposals and model legislation, see www.divorcereform.org
About
the Sponsoring Organizations
The Coalition
for Marriage, Family and Couples Education
The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education (CMFCE), founded
in 1996, is an independent, nonpartisan, nonsectarian organization whose
members are convinced that family breakdown can be reduced through couple-empowering,
skill-based education and accurate, up-to-date information about marriage.
CMFCE serves as a clearinghouse and provides consultation to national,
state and community leaders, and sponsors a website, e-newsletter, directory,
and the Smart Marriages Conference-an annual summit of researchers, educators,
clinicians, clergy, teachers, scholars, policy makers, journalists and
the public interested in strengthening marriage. The conference also trains
marriage and family educators. CMFCE is funded solely by the proceeds
of its annual conference.
Coalition
for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
5310 Belt Road, NW
Washington, DC 20015-1961
Tel: (202) 362-3332
Fax: (202) 362-0973
[email protected]
www.smartmarriages.com
Institute
for American Values
The Institute for American Values, founded in 1987, is a private, nonpartisan
organization devoted to research, publication, and public education on
issues of family well-being and civil society. By providing forums for
scholarly inquiry and debate, the Institute seeks to bring fresh knowledge
to bear on the challenges facing families and civil society. Through its
publications and other educational activities, the Institute seeks to
bridge the gap between scholarship and policy making, bringing new information
to the attention of policy makers in the government, opinion makers in
the media, and decision makers in the private sector.
Institute
for American Values
1841 Broadway, Suite 211
New York, New York 10023
Tel: (212) 246-3942
Fax: (212) 541-6665
[email protected]
www.americanvalues.org
Religion,
Culture, and Family Project
The Religion, Culture, and Family Project is a national research initiative
whose purpose is to create scholarly resources aiding understanding of
the relation of religion to family issues. It is funded by the Division
of Religion of the Lilly Endowment, Inc. It has published a 10-book series
with Westminster/John Knox and has begun a second series with William
B. Eerdmans. It produces videos, holds conferences, and supports a variety
of practical projects. The Director is Don Browning.
Religion,
Culture,and Family Project
The University of Chicago
The Divinity School
1025 East 58th Street
Chicago, Illinois 60637
Tel: (773) 702-9249
Fax: (773) 834-5290
[email protected]
www.uchicago.edu/divinity/family
About
this report
The Marriage
Movement: A Statement of Principles
Published by the Coalition
for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education;
Institute for American Values; and
Religion, Culture, and Family Project, University of Chicago Divinity
School
Copyright 2000, Institute for American Values
ISBN #0-9659841-6-8
This Statement stems in part from a consulation of marriage leaders held
in New York on January 24-25, 2000, and is sponsored by the Coalition
for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education, the Institute for American
Values, and the Religion, Culture, and Family Project of the University
of Chicago Divinity School. The sponsors are grateful to their respective
financial contributors for their generous support of this initiative.
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