We come together as supporters of something
new: a grass-roots movement to strengthen marriage. We come together to
give public voice and direction to this new movement-to explain our intentions,
specify our goals, and seek the support of our fellow citizens.
We are teachers and scholars, marriage counselors
and marriage educators. We are judges, divorce lawyers, and legal reformers.
We are clinicians, service providers, policy analysts, social workers,
women's leaders, religious leaders, and advocates for responsible fatherhood.
We are people of faith, asking God's blessing in the great task before
us. We are agnostics and humanists, committed to moral and spiritual progress.
We are women and men, liberals and conservatives, of different races and
ethnic groups. We come together to pursue a common goal. We come together
for a marriage movement.
We come together because the divorce revolution
has failed. Contrary to the hopes of many Americans in the 1970s,
high divorce rates have proved no panacea for family dysfunction. Divorced
parents can fight, too, and sometimes even abandon their children altogether.
Children of divorce must cope with new emotional and logistical difficulties
at the same time that parents are often overwhelmed by new emotional,
time, and financial problems. Even in the best of circumstances, children
miss their fathers when living with mothers, and their mothers when living
with fathers.
Nostalgia for the high hopes of the 1970s should
not blind us to the hard truths discovered over the past thirty years:
When marriages fail, children suffer. For many, the suffering continues
for years. For some, it never ends. Children suffer when marriages between
parents do not take place, when parents divorce, and when spouses fail
to create a "good-enough" family bond. We recognize that there
are abusive marriages that should end in separation or divorce. We firmly
believe that every family raising children deserves respect and support.
Yet at the same time, we cannot forget that not every family form is equally
likely to protect children's well-being.
Nor has the divorce revolution reliably delivered
on its promise to adults of greater personal happiness. Instead, research
has shown that remarriages are no happier, on average, than first marriages,
and are even more divorce-prone. Even when parents remarry, their children
do no better, on average, than children raised by single parents, and
both do worse on all measures than children raised by their own two married
parents.[1]
We come together because the unwed-childbearing
revolution has failed. More births to unmarried mothers has not led
to greater freedom, equality, and justice for women. Instead, because
few single men become nurturing, dependable fathers, few unwed mothers
enjoy the benefits of an equal parenting partnership. In practice, our
embrace of unmarried childbearing has led not to greater equality for
women, but to the feminization of both parenting and poverty.
We come together because we value freedom and
cherish our free society. We recognize that the decline of marriage
weakens civil society and spreads social inequality. Americans of all
social classes and ethnic groups value marriage. Yet, as society retreats
from supporting marriage publicly, those who succeed in achieving this
aspiration are increasingly likely to be the already highly advantaged:
better educated, more affluent, and white.[2]
As M. Belinda Tucker has noted, "African Americans
marry later, are about twice as likely to divorce, and are less likely
to marry ever, yet Blacks' views of the importance of marriage are similar
to those held by members of other ethnic groups."[3]
By age 30, 80 percent of white women, but only 45 percent of black women,
have married.[4] Meanwhile in 1995, 32 percent of the
marriages of wives who are high school graduates had ended by the ten-year
mark, compared to 18 percent of college-educated wives.[5]
The result of trends like these is that many fewer less advantaged children
enjoy the economic and emotional benefits of living with married parents.
Of children born in the early 1990s, white (non-Hispanic) children can
expect to spend about 80 percent of childhood in a married-couple household,
while for Hispanic children the figure is 67 percent and for African American
children the figure is only 16 percent.[6]
We recognize that the decline of marriage is an
American problem, not an ethnic problem, touching in one way or another
every community. But we also recognize a special responsibility to our
most vulnerable children. If America allows the norms, attitudes, values,
information, skills, and economic support needed to sustain marriage to
be privatized, we should not be surprised to find that marriage will become
the private property of the privileged. Marriage, a rich generator of
social and human capital, must not become the private hoard of the upper-middle
class, creating a new, disturbing marital divide between the haves and
have-nots in America.
We come together to affirm that marriage is
not a special interest. Whether an individual ever personally marries
or not, a healthy marriage culture benefits every citizen in the United
States: rich or poor, churched or unchurched, gay or straight, liberal
or conservative, parent or childless, African American, Hispanic, Anglo,
Asian, or Native American. Marriage is not a conservative or liberal idea,
not a plaything of passing political ideologies. Marriage is a universal
human institution, the way in which every known society conspires to obtain
for each child the love, attention, and resources of a mother and a father.
A large body of research has shown that current
rates of divorce, family conflict, and unwed childbearing are not good
for children, for adults, or for society.[7] New research
from pioneering marriage educators and therapists are laying out exciting
new paths to marital success.[8] Innovative leaders-in
state and local government, civic organizations, faith communities, academia,
education, child welfare, psychology, marriage education, and therapy-are
beginning to focus on the vital new question: What can we do to strengthen
marriage?
Support for marriage, we emphasize, does not require
turning back the clock on desirable social change, promoting male tyranny,
or tolerating domestic violence. We seek to bring not condemnation and
shame to the already distressed, but hope and support to the nine out
of ten Americans who at some point in their lives choose marriage as the
vessel for their dreams of a lasting, loving family bond.
We come together to enlarge and energize this
emerging effort to renew the marriage vow and the marriage vision. We
come together to help more men and women achieve a caring, collaborative,
and committed bond, rooted in equal regard between spouses. We come together
to pledge that in this decade we will turn the tide on marriage and reduce
divorce and unmarried childbearing, so that each year more children will
grow up protected by their own two happily married parents, and so that
each year more adults' marriage dreams will come true.
Where Do We Stand Today? The Contemporary Marriage Crisis
Over the last two generations, marriage as
a social institution has weakened. Since 1960, the crude divorce rate
has doubled, while the number of divorces has almost tripled, from 393,000
in 1960 to almost 1.2 million in 1994.[9] Meanwhile,
just since 1980, the proportion of children born outside of marriage has
almost doubled, from 18.4 percent to almost one-third. Each year in America
at least 1.2 million babies are born to unmarried parents.[10]
Weaker marriage ties have not translated into happier
marriages or families. Between 1973 and 1993, the percent of persons who
were in intact and happy first marriages "has declined substantially
in recent years, the proportion after ten years now being about one third,"
reports University of Texas Scholar Norval Glenn. Despite high rates of
divorce, the proportion of children living with unhappily married parents
has not declined.[11]
Why has marriage weakened? Scholars point to a variety
of important cultural, legal, and economic changes: increases in intimacy
expectations, greater social approval of alternatives to marriage, the
greater economic independence of women, "no-fault" divorce reform,
the rise in social insurance programs that make individuals less dependent
on families, the expansion of market and consumer mores into family life,
and lesser social supports and pressures to get and stay married from
family, friends, professionals, churches, business, and government. Moreover,
divorce in one generation increases divorce in the next. One large recent
study found that children whose parents divorced were 76 percent more
likely to divorce themselves, even after controlling for family characteristics
and the parents' predivorce marital quality.[12]
Has this decline happened because Americans no longer
care about marriage? No. Marriage remains a widely shared aspiration.
In a 1996 survey, just one percent of Americans said marital success was
"not very important" to them. Only eight percent of Americans
call marriage an "outdated institution," a proportion that has
not changed over the last generation. About half of Americans say that
"divorce in this country should be more difficult to obtain,"[13]
and public support for this point of view is rising.[14]
The paradox is, as Norval Glenn has written: "[M]arriage remains
very important to adult Americans-probably as important as it has ever
been-while the proportion of Americans married has declined and the proportion
successfully married has declined even more."[15]
The younger generation is equally enthusiastic about
marriage. Eight out of ten high school girls say that having a good marriage
and family life are "extremely important."[16]
More than two out of three younger Americans agree that "when parents
divorce, children develop permanent emotional problems." Three-fourths
believe that divorce laws are too lax.[17]
At the same time, young people today view cohabitation
more favorably, are less likely than in the recent past firmly to connect
marriage with childbearing, and appear to be translating these attitudes
into action. Between 1976-1980 and 1991-1995, the proportion of high school
senior girls who said that having a child while unmarried is either "a
worthwhile lifestyle" or "not affecting anyone else" jumped
from 33 percent to 53 percent.[18] By the early 1990s,
about 40 percent of women under the age of 30 who became first-time mothers
were not married.[19] Between 1975 and 1995, the proportion
of high school girls who agreed that "It is usually a good idea for
couples to live together before getting married" skyrocketed from
32 percent to 55 percent.[20]
Between 1975 and 1995, the proportion of all couples
who were cohabiting rather than married more than tripled, and 64 percent
of women born between 1963 and 1974 made their first union a cohabitation
rather than a marriage.[21] By the early 1990s, cohabitation
was replacing marriage among young parents as well: The proportion of
all out-of-wedlock births occurring to cohabiting couples leaped from
29 percent in the early 1980s to 39 percent in the early 1990s.[22]
Has marriage weakened because Americans no longer
care? No. Just one percent says a good marriage is "Not very important."
In each of these cases, the untutored strategies
of the young make it less likely, not more, that they will achieve their
goal of a successful marriage. Children born to cohabiting parents are
more likely than those born to married couples to experience their parents'
breakup.[23] An out-of-wedlock child makes it less likely
that a woman who wants to marry will find a mate.[24]
Cohabitation does not decrease-and may increase-the risk of divorce.[25]
The longer and more often men and women cohabit, and the more tolerant
of divorce they become, the fewer children they want, and the less positive
attitudes toward marriage they develop.[26] More tolerant
attitudes about divorce, research suggests, may make good marriages less
likely. "Ironically," two researchers recently concluded, "by
adopting attitudes that provide greater freedom to leave unsatisfying
marriages, people may be increasing the likelihood that their marriages
will become unsatisfying in the long run."[27]
Is Change Possible? The Case against Despair
Is renewing a marriage culture a reasonable goal? We think so.
When Americans organized in the 1990s to combat teen pregnancy, teen
pregnancy declined.[28] The recent decline in teen sexual
activity,[29] a significant decline in divorce rates
since 1979,[30] a drop in the illegitimacy rate, and
the levelling off of the proportion of births out of wedlock in the late
1990s,[31] are all indicators that social change is
not a one-way street. The apparent success of new strategies (such as
community marriage policies[32] and marriage education[33])
in preventing divorce gives us powerful additional reasons to hope.
We know that not all of our fellow citizens agree. There are at least
three concerns that stand in the way of a renewed public commitment to
marriage.[34]
The Argument from Despair
The first stumbling block to rebuilding a marriage culture is "the
argument from despair." High rates of divorce and unwed childbearing,
some distinguished voices tell us, are irreversible trends. As one scholar
said in 1988: "[T]he changes in the structure of the family are probably
the result of some sizable and largely unstoppable changes in social and
economic patterns."[35] Said another respected
scholar more recently: "[L]iving together is not going away. We have
to realize this is the world we live in."[36]
We respectfully, but firmly, disagree. The history of American progress
is the history of confronting entrenched social problems once considered
inevitable. Slavery, racism, poverty, pollution, drunk driving, domestic
violence, sexism, tobacco use- in each case, Americans proved that when
a social practice, big or small, is wrong or destructive, the correct
response is not fatalistic acceptance, but action. Few social problems
are ever perfectly resolved. Certainly we recognize that there will always
be children born without committed fathers; there will always be abusive
marriages that should not survive.
But the decline of marriage is not inevitable. Social recovery is possible,
as the recent encouraging turnaround in the divorce rate affirms. The
goal of our movement is not perfection, but progress; not to eliminate
divorce or unwed childbearing, but to reduce it further; not to make every
marriage last, but to help more marriages succeed.
The Fear of Hurting Single Parents
The second argument against a marriage movement stems not from despair
but fear: Will a great public effort to strengthen marriage require denigrating
single mothers and their children? We don't think so.
Supporting marriage does not require punishing single parents or their
children. The Marriage Movement is a movement for a better marriage culture,
not a movement of the smug marrieds for the smug marrieds. Many of us
in the marriage movement are single parents or the children of single
parents. We know firsthand how children suffer and parents struggle when
marriages fail. We know, too, how false the common stereotype is that
single parents don't care about marriage. Few parents, single or married,
dream of the day their daughters will become single mothers, or their
sons turn into absent fathers.
Children of single parents, like all American children, need and deserve
help in making better marriages than their parents may have had. They
need a marriage culture that affirms their deepest aspirations and does
not merely confirm their deepest fears; a culture that tells them that
married love is a possible, reasonable, normal, achievable goal. Fatherless
boys, in particular, need help in affirming the value of responsible,
nurturing fatherhood. They do not need false reassurances that their own
fathers' abandonment was no big deal, or that if they in turn become part-time
or absent fathers, their own children will not suffer. If boys without
fathers are to grow up to be loving, committed fathers to their own children,
they cannot live in a culture that tells them that full-time fathers are
not important.
The Privatization of Marriage
Marriage is not just a private relationship. It is also a social institution.
"The belief that marriage is a social good and therefore a legitimate
concern of the state," points out Don Browning, "lies behind
the 1998 green paper on family and marriage issued by the Labor government
in England, the interest in marriage education in Australia, and the moves
into marriage preparation in Florida, Louisiana, and Arizona. The mass
of legal codes governing marriage and family in the 50 states is also
a sign of the long-standing belief that marriage deals with profound goods
that must be monitored and ordered for the public good."[37]
Marriage is not a conservative or liberal idea,
not a plaything of passing political ideologies, but a universal human
institution.
After 30 years of a divorce culture, many Americans see marriage as too
personal to be a proper matter for public concern or intervention. Even
family members, clergy, and children are often not seen as legitimate
stakeholders in the success of a marriage. For if marriage is just a word
for two adults who have managed (or not managed) to create an emotionally
satisfying personal relationship, how can any outsider legitimately second-guess
their decision to divorce?
We do not share this limited conception of marriage. A good marriage
is not just a good private relationship, and married couples are not in
a sealed bubble, immune from the influences of others. Though marriage
is intimate and personal, marriage also has an inherently public side.
Marriage is what lovers do when they want to bring their relationship
out of the private realm of personal emotions and make it a social fact,
visible to and recognized not only by the couple, but also by friends,
family, church, government, and the rest of society. Good marriages are
made, not born, and they are most likely to be made in a society that
understands and values marriage as a shared aspiration and key social
institution, not just a private affair of the heart.
What Is Marriage? Six Dimensions
Marriage has at least six important dimensions:
Marriage is a legal contract. Marriage creates
formal and legal obligations and rights between spouses. Public recognition
of, and protection for, this marriage contract, whether in tax or divorce
law, helps married couples succeed in creating a permanent bond.
Marriage is a financial partnership. In
marriage, "my money" typically becomes "our money,"
and this sharing of property creates its own kind of intimacy and mutuality
that is difficult to achieve outside a legal marriage. Only lovers who
make this legal vow typically acquire the confidence that allows them
to share their bank accounts as well as their bed.
Marriage is a sacred promise. Even people
who are not part of any organized religion usually see marriage as a sacred
union, with profound spiritual implications. "Whether it is the deep
metaphors of covenant as in Judaism, Islam and Reformed Protestantism;
sacrament as in Roman Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy; the yin and yang
of Confucianism; the quasi-sacramentalism of Hinduism; or the mysticism
often associated with allegedly modern romantic love," Don Browning
writes, "humans tend to find values in marriage that call them beyond
the mundane and everyday."[38] Religious faith
helps to deepen the meaning of marriage and provides a unique fountainhead
of inspiration and support when troubles arise.
Marriage is a sexual union. Marriage elevates
sexual desire into a permanent sign of love, turning two lovers into "one
flesh." Marriage indicates not only a private but a public understanding
that two people have withdrawn themselves from the sexual marketplace.
This public vow of fidelity also makes men and women more likely to be
faithful. Research shows, for example, that cohabiting men are four times
more likely to cheat than husbands, and cohabiting women are eight times
more likely to cheat than spouses.[39]
Marriage is a personal bond. Marriage is
the ultimate avowal of caring, committed, and collaborative love. Marriage
incorporates our desire to know and be known by another human being; it
represents our dearest hopes that love is not a temporary condition, that
we are not condemned to drift in and out of shifting relationships forever.
Marriage is a family-making bond. Marriage
takes two biological strangers and turns them into each other's next-of-kin.
As a procreative bond, marriage also includes a commitment to care for
any children produced by the married couple. It reinforces fathers' (and
fathers' kin's) obligations to acknowledge children as part of the family
system.
In all these ways, marriage is a productive institution, not a consumer
good. Marriage does not simply certify existing loving relationships,
but rather transforms the ways in which couples act toward one another,
toward their children, and toward the future. Marriage also changes the
way in which other individuals, groups, and institutions think about and
act toward the couple.[40] The public, legal side of
marriage increases couples' confidence that their partnerships will last.
Conversely, the more marriage is redefined as simply a private relationship,
the less effective marriage becomes in helping couples achieve their goal
of a lasting bond.
Marriage as the Incubator of Fathers
Consider just one example of how the various dimensions of marriage reinforce
healthy and productive behavior: the incubation of fatherhood. The empirical
evidence is quite clear: Marriage is our best hope of fostering involved,
effective, nurturing fathers.
As a matter of mere biology, men can sire a virtually unlimited number
of children, but a man can provide daily care, protection, love, and financial
support to only a few children. Marriage closes this gap between a man's
sexual and fathering capacities. It makes a sexual union with one woman
a matter of public record. It obligates not just the man, but also his
kin, to protect the children of this sexual union as family.[41]
When fathers do not live with their children, research shows, the relationship
between father and child typically dissipates. Ten years after the divorce,
only one in ten children saw their father as often as once a week; two-thirds
had not seen him in the past year.[42] One study of
unwed fathers found that while 57 percent visited their infants weekly,
just 22 percent saw their elementary school-aged children this frequently.
In another sample of urban, African American families, just one out of
five young single mothers said that their child's father took "a
lot" of responsibility for their three-year old child, compared to
88 percent of married and cohabiting mothers.[43]
Why? One reason is that when fathers are not married to the mother of
their children, they develop difficult, competing obligations to new partners
and new children. Time, energy, and money are limited resources. When
a father doesn't live with his children's mother, his fathering must be
spread out over at least two households, and often more. Outside of marriage,
the difficulties of fathering multiply, and the number of successful fathers
dwindles.
Is Marriage a Private Matter? The Public Costs of Divorce
Is strengthening marriage a legitimate public goal?
We believe that the answer is yes, for at least four reasons:
1. Marriage protects the well-being of children;
2. Divorce and unwed parenting generate large taxpayer costs;
3. Marriage is a unique generator of social and human capital, as important
as education in building the wealth of individuals and communities; and
4. Only marriage creates a reasonable hope of permanence.
The Well-Being of Children
Marriage is what lovers do when they want to bring
their relationship out of the private realm of personal emotions and make
it a social fact, visible to and recognized by society.
Children do better, on average, when they are raised by their own two
married parents. What are the risks of non-intact families for children?
As Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher sum up: "On average, children
of married parents are physically and mentally healthier, better educated
and later in life more likely to enjoy more career success than other
children." On the other hand, "Children raised in single-parent
households are, on average, more likely to be poor, to have health problems
and psychological disorders, to commit crimes and exhibit other conduct
disorders, have somewhat poorer relationships with both family and peers,
and as adults eventually get fewer years of education and enjoy less stable
marriages and lower occupational status on average than children whose
parents got and stayed married. This 'marriage gap' in children's well-being
remains true even after researchers control for important family characteristics,
including parents' race, income and socioeconomic status." [44]
What does marriage do for children? With marriage, children gain direct
access to the financial, emotional, educational, and spiritual resources
of both parents. Outside of marriage, the economic and emotional interests
of parents and children diverge. Children experience new loyalty conflicts
and so do adults. A man who is living separately from his children experiences
a contradiction between providing for his children and maintaining his
own household's standard of living; he also experiences a new tug-of-war
between time and money for his kids and retaining enough time and money
to attract a new mate. Outside of lifelong marriage, men risk being torn
into fractional dads, pulled in too many directions by children spread
out over too many different households.
Similarly, a single mother must assume new breadwinning and parenting
duties, while also attempting to find time and energy to create a social
life for herself. The introduction of non-related males into the household
significantly increases the risks of child abuse.[45]
In more ordinary cases, it tends to create difficult emotional and loyalty
balancing acts, as children and new partners compete with both parents
for time, attention, money, and emotional priority. Outside of marriage,
the tasks of parenting remain the same, but both parents must meet them
with reduced time, emotional energy, and financial resources.
Outside of marriage, the parent-child bond itself typically weakens,
not only with absent fathers, but with overworked mothers as well. As
two researchers who studied 2,000 married families over a 15-year period
report: "[R]elations with parents appear to suffer, on average, more
when parents divorce than when unhappily married parents stay together."[46]
Many single parents are unsung heroes, overcoming these difficulties to
create warm, loving homes for their children. But few of these heroes
and heroines would deny the difficulties of parenting outside of marriage.
Few Americans of any marital status view single parenting as an ideal.
The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce
Divorce and unwed childbearing create substantial public costs, paid
by taxpayers. Higher rates of crime, drug abuse, education failure, chronic
illness, child abuse, domestic violence, and poverty among both adults
and children bring with them higher taxpayer costs in diverse forms: more
welfare expenditure; increased remedial and special education expenses;
higher day-care subsidies; additional child-support collection costs;
a range of increased direct court administration costs incurred in regulating
post-divorce or unwed families; higher foster care and child protection
services; increased Medicaid and Medicare costs; increasingly expensive
and harsh crime-control measures to compensate for formerly private regulation
of adolescent and young-adult behaviors; and many other similar costs.
While no study has yet attempted precisely to measure these sweeping
and diverse taxpayer costs stemming from the decline of marriage, current
research suggests that these costs are likely to be quite extensive. For
example:
Boys raised outside of intact marriages are two to three times more
likely to commit a crime leading to incarceration by the time they are
in their early thirties, even after controlling for race, family background,
neighborhood quality, and cognitive ability.[47] Because
divorce lowers family income and (often) neighborhood quality, and because
divorce in one generation leads to higher rates of unwed parenting in
the next, the long-term consequences of marital breakdown on the crime
rate are likely to be even higher.
Changes in family structure explain 97 percent of black and 99 percent
of white families' poverty spells-not only unwed childbearing but also
divorce.[48] Forty-four percent of women experience
poverty following divorce.[49] Absent remarriage,
the typical divorced woman can expect a standard of living near the
poverty level, and this drop cannot be explained by selection effects
into divorce.[50] About one-fifth of women who apply
for welfare benefits for the first time do so because of divorce or
separation; about one in four mothers who were first propelled onto
welfare by divorce are still welfare-dependent five years later.[51]
The long-term effects of divorce on welfare expenditures are even higher,
as daughters of divorce are three times more likely to become unwed
teen mothers, and are also more likely later to be divorced.[52]
Unmarried hospital patients are two-and-a-half times as likely to
require nursing home care, even after taking into account the severity
of illness, the diagnosis, age, gender, and race.[53]
Elderly married men and women are also less likely than unmarried senior
citizens to enter a nursing home.[54]
Following divorce, children are 50 percent more likely to develop
health problems,[55] generating higher Medicaid costs
for mothers in poverty. Children in female-headed households are more
likely to be hospitalized, and to have chronic health conditions, than
children in two-parent families, even after taking into account the
lower average education and income of single-mother families.[56]
One quarter of children in both mother-only and remarried families
repeat a grade in school, compared to 14 percent of those in married
families. About a quarter of children in mother-only families (and 18
percent in stepfamilies) have been suspended or expelled, compared to
less than 10 percent in mother-father families.[57]
Teenagers and young women whose parents are divorced are more than
three times as likely to have an out-of-wedlock child as young women
whose parents stayed married.[58] About one out of
ten teens under 15 who are living with both of their parents have ever
had sex, compared to 20 percent of those living in a blended family,
23 percent of those living with a single mother, and 27 percent of those
living with a single father.[59]
A Unique Generator of Social and Human Capital
Divorce creates substantial taxpayer cost
in diverse areas, including welfare, Medicaid, crime-control, foster care,
and special education. Married adults live longer, healthier, happier,
and more affluent lives than adults who don't marry or don't stay married.
This phenomenon is not simply an artifact of selection; marriage itself
makes adults better off, by offering them greater emotional and financial
support, wider and more integrated social networks, important economies
of scale, and productive boosts in earnings, parenting capacity, and life
management.[60]
Marriage also helps to conserve wealth and expand social capital. At
any given level of income, married adults are less likely to experience
financial hardship. The longer people stay married, the more wealth they
accumulate, whereas length of cohabitation has no relationship to wealth
accumulation. Informal partners-who are not held by the wider society
to be financially responsible to one another-do not reap the same benefits
as the legally married.[61]
When it comes to helping Americans to live a long, healthy life, marriage
offers profound advantages as well. As one review of the literature put
it: "Compared to married people, the non-married . . . have higher
rates of mortality[62] than the married: about 50 percent
higher among women and 250 percent higher among men." Marriage lowers
the incidence of depression, suicide, and substance abuse (including alcoholism).
One longitudinal study following a nationally representative sample of
13,000 men and women over five years found that, after controlling for
initial mental health status, the mental health of all singles (never
married, separated, divorced, and widowed) declined compared to those
who remained married over the entire period.[63]
Thus adults as well as children suffer long-lasting disadvantages when
they live in communities where healthy marriage is not the norm.
The Only Realistic Promise of Permanence
Although many cohabiting couples eventually marry, long-term cohabitation
is rare: Just one out of ten cohabiting couples are still cohabiting after
five years.[64] By contrast, 80 percent of couples who
marry for the first time are still married five years later,[65]
and if current divorce rates remain constant, for about six out of ten
younger women marrying for the first time, the act of marriage will indeed
create a lifelong bond.[66]
Marriage is not just a "piece of paper," and alternatives to
marriages are not "just as good," in the sense of being equally
likely to produce lasting, loving ties. One British study finds that biological
parents who marry are three times more likely to be together two years
later than biological parents who cohabit, even after controlling for
maternal age, education, economic hardship, previous relationship history,
depression, and relationship quality.[67]
Individuals choose freely whether or not to marry. But before individuals
can have that choice to make a lifelong bond, the special status of marriage
must first be created and sustained by families, faith, law, and society.
Does the Public Care? Evidence of a Growing Marriage Movement
A marriage movement is visibly emerging; a diverse and growing group
of leaders are organizing new initiatives to strengthen marriage. These
include:
The Marriage Education Movement
The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education's annual
Smart Marriages conference, which brings together leaders in all areas
of the marriage movement, including the secular, religious, scholarly,
and public policy sectors, has grown from 600 attendees in 1997 to 1,200
in 1999. The Coalition serves as an information clearinghouse for the
media, legislators, scholars, and community organizers. Its e-newsletter
goes to several thousand marriage educators; lay ministers and clergy;
counselors; therapists; journalists; legislators; family lawyers; and
other leaders in the marriage movement. Its directory of programs (www.smartmarriages.com)
has increased from 15 in 1997 to 140 in 2000. The Smart Marriages conference
trains approximately 400 marriage educators each year in intensive pre-
and post-conference training institutes.
In Minnesota and Utah, new community marriage initiatives have hosted
(or are planning to host) marriage education conferences to train therapists,
educators, and clergy in the latest marriage preparation techniques.
The goals of the Minnesota Marriage Initiative, for example, are "to
generate community support to help people achieve their goal of a successful,
lifelong marriage." In Philadelphia, the Family Relations Success
Council has a similar goal of raising awareness of premarital education
and divorce prevention programs among clergy, lay ministers, mental
health providers, counselors, social workers, psychologists, family
life educators, business leaders, attorneys, judges, and family advocates.
The African American Family Life Education Program, a collaborative
partnership between the Indiana University School of Social Work and
its community partners, aims to teach the knowledge, skills, attitudes,
and values necessary to create stable and satisfying families. One of
the modules, the seven-week African American Marriage Enrichment (AAME)
program aims to strengthen committed relationships between men and women.[68]
Chesterfield County in Virginia recently became the first U.S. County
to subsidize marriage education courses. Pat Cullen, a director at the
county mental health clinic, helped create the program after witnessing
the limited returns-"too little, too late"-to a county-mandated
divorce education program.
Saddened by divorce court carnage, court workers in Cobb County, Georgia,
created their own four-hour marriage education course, staffed by volunteer
therapists and financed in part by asking jurors voluntarily to donate
their jury-duty pay.
The U.S. military recently began teaching marriage education skills
(such as PREP, Pairs, and Couples Communication)[69]
on military bases around the world.
Growing numbers of hospitals are adding marriage education components
to their childbirth classes, such as the Becoming Parents Program, developed
by Pam Jordan at the University of Washington.
In 1999, the Texas Association for Marriage and Family Therapy issued
a white paper calling on the state to fund "effective relationship
and marriage skills" programs, as well as making premarital education
a prerequisite to obtaining a marriage license.
Oklahoma, Florida, Minnesota, Maryland, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas,
Michigan, and other states have passed or are considering passing laws
giving tax incentives or marriage-license discounts to engaged couples
who agree to take marriage preparation courses.
The Faith-Based Marriage Movement
The growth of Marriage Savers, a lay ministry headed by Harriet and
Mike McManus that has helped 5,500 clergy in 125 cities organize Community
Marriage Policies and Covenants. For these programs, clergy agree to
require engaged couples to undergo four months of marriage preparation,
encourage marriage enrichment and intervention programs such as Marriage
Encounter or Family Life Weekends or Retrouvaille,[70]
create stepfamily support groups, and train lay mentor couples to help
engaged couples, newlyweds, and troubled marriages. One such mentoring
ministry, pioneered by the Rev. and Mrs. Dick McGinnis, uses formerly
troubled couples (much like Alcoholics Anonymous) and reports saving
as many as 90 percent of the most troubled marriages.[71]
The April 6, 2000, groundbreaking ecumenical agreement by leaders
of the National Council of Churches, the Southern Baptist Convention,
the U. S. Catholic Church, and the National Association of Evangelicals
to work together to promote marriage. These efforts include organizing
up to 16 regional conferences to be attended by bishop-level executives
of the different Christian traditions; drafting a statement of common
goals for strengthening marriage; creating an ecumenical ad campaign
promoting marriage; and endorsing a World Marriage Day.
The 1999 launch of a new, non-political, church-based "Covenant
Marriage Movement" (patterned on the success of Promise Keepers)
by a diverse group of 35 national Christian organizations with a combined
constituency of 31 million people. The Movement plans to hold conference
events in major cities and urge married couples to sign a renewed vow
to God, each other, their families, and their communities.
The Scholarly Marriage Movement
Over the last ten years, a growing number of important family scholars
have modified earlier views in response to new evidence about the potentially
damaging consequences of divorce and unwed childbearing. In Second Chances
(Ticknor & Fields, 1990), The Good Marriage (Houghton Mifflin, 1995),
and The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce (Hyperion, September 2000), Judith
Wallerstein has helped to bring national attention to the long-term
consequence of divorce for children. Growing Up with a Single Parent
by Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur (Harvard University Press, 1994),
A Generation at Risk by Paul Amato and Alan Booth (Harvard University
Press, 1997), and The Case for Marriage by Linda J. Waite and Maggie
Gallagher (Doubleday, October 2000) are also examples of this type of
scholarly work.
Other recent scholarly initiatives include:
In May 1995, the Council on Families, a nonpartisan and interdisciplinary
group of family scholars and writers, released Marriage in America:
A Report to the Nation, urging new action to "increase the proportion
of children who grow up with their two married parents and decrease
the proportion who do not."
In November 1996, the Communitarian Network sponsored a "Conference
on Communitarian Pro-Family Policies" that focused in part on ways
of strengthening marriage, including a new focus on marriage education
(as distinct from marriage therapy) and on the role of churches and
divorce law in strengthening marriage.[72]
In 1997, David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead established the
research-oriented National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. Its
report, The State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America,
released annually, receives wide press attention.[73]
In June 1997, the Family Impact Seminar held a two-day roundtable
of experts and public officials in Washington, D.C. that resulted in
the report, Toward More Perfect Unions: Putting Marriage on the Public
Agenda, urging both "the federal government and key national organizations"
to "make marriage a priority."[74]
The Fragile Families and Child Well Being Survey, a major new study
of low income couples in 20 U.S. cities by Sara McLanahan and Irving
Garfinkel, will address the huge gaps in knowledge about marriage and
cohabitation among the poor.[75]
Other recently formed scholarly initiatives include Duquesne University's
Family Institute; the University of Virginia's Center for Children,
Families, and the Law; and Creighton University's Center for Marriage
and Family. In 1998, the National Institutes for Health sponsored a
"Ties That Bind" conference on marriage and family formation,
leading to a book, The Ties That Bind: Perspectives on Marriage and
Cohabitation (Aldine de Grutyer, 2000).
New marriage research labs, such as those directed by John Gottman
at the University of Washington, Howard Markman and Scott Stanley at
the University of Denver, Andrew Christiansen at UCLA, and Thomas Bradbury,
also at UCLA, are putting marriage education and therapy on a more scientific
footing.
In 2000, Oklahoma State University appointed the state's first marriage
scholar-in-residence, and is initiating baseline research on marriage
and divorce trends in the state.
At the University of Chicago Divinity School, the Religion, Culture,
and Family Project, led by Don S. Browning, has embarked on a rigorous
scholarly examination and recovery of the broad mainline Protestant
marriage tradition. Publications by the Project include: From Culture
Wars to Common Ground: Religion and the American Family Debate by Don
S. Browning, Bonnie J. Miller-McLemore, Pamela D. Couture, K. Brynolf
Lyon, and Robert M. Franklin; Covenant and Commitments by Max L. Stackhouse;
and From Sacrament to Contract by John Witte, Jr.
The newly formed Washington, D.C.-based Couples and Marriage Policy
Resource Center provides technical assistance and consultation to national,
state, and community leaders on a wide range of strategies to strengthen
marriage and two-parent families, with a special focus on helping low
income and welfare populations.[76]
The Marriage-Friendly Fatherhood Movement
The rise of a marriage-oriented fatherhood movement has sparked interest
in strengthening marriage by highlighting the costs of father-absence
and the importance of marriage in sustaining fatherhood. The National
Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) organizes public media campaigns on fatherhood,
collaborates with governors and mayors in local fatherhood initiatives,
and is now building local chapters. NFI, along with others, such as
Charles Ballard at the National Institute for Fatherhood and Family
Revitalization, are marriage-friendly in programming and message.
In November 1998, the Morehouse Research Institute co-sponsored the
Morehouse Conference on African American Fathers, funded in part by
the Ford Foundation. This conference led to the 1999 joint statement,
Turning the Corner on Father Absence In Black America, in which prominent,
mostly African American, scholars and reformers agreed that ".
. . a key goal of the fatherhood movement must be to encourage both
enhanced marriageability and healthy marriages."[77]
The School-Based Marriage Skills Movement
In 1998, Florida became the first state to mandate marriage and relationship
skills training in all public and private high schools.
As many as 1,000 schools in at least 35 states include marriage education
within life skills, family life, domestic science, health, teen pregnancy
and abstinence education classes.[78]
The Divorce Law Reform Movement
New research has led scholars to reconsider the impact of no-fault
divorce on marriage. While the scholarly debate continues, recent research
suggests that the move to unilateral divorce by itself accounts for
17 percent of the overall increase in divorce rates between 1968 and
1988.[79]
In 1997, Louisiana became the first state, and in 1998 Arizona the
second, to pass covenant marriage laws, which give couples the option
of avoiding no-fault divorce laws, and also participating in mandatory
marriage preparation and marriage counseling. Covenant marriage bills
have been proposed in at least 20 states in the last two years.[80]
Other recently proposed marriage law reforms include requiring mutual
consent for no-fault divorces and lengthening the waiting periods for
no-fault divorces when children are involved or when one spouse contests
the divorce.[81]
New laws and/or court procedural changes have been proposed to establish
"marriage friendly" divorce mediation and education. About
half of U.S. counties now have some form of court-ordered divorce education
or mediation,[82] but most aim primarily to process
divorces more quickly and with less acrimony and litigation. The new
initiatives add two goals: to encourage reconciliation by offering a
realistic picture of the risks of divorce and by offering conflict-management
skills and mediated parenting plans early in the divorce process; and
to help prevent redivorce by offering skills-based marriage education
at the point of divorce.[83]
The Governors' Marriage Movement
In 1999, governors in two states-Arkansas and Oklahoma-publicly made
30 to 50 percent reductions in the divorce rate an important goal of
their administrations.
In 1999, Oklahoma Governor Frank Keating convened the Governor's and
First Lady's Conference on Marriage, pulling together leaders from business,
churches, government, social services, education, and the media to help
forge the nation's first state-level action plan for reducing divorce.
In March 2000, Governor Keating announced the result: an innovative
new $10 million marriage initiative, financed by using 10 percent of
the state's unspent welfare funds, making Oklahoma the nation's first
state to earmark a substantial portion of Temporary Aid to Needy Families
(TANF) funds for reducing divorce and strengthening marriage. The state's
divorce reduction plan includes community marriage covenants, a marriage
resource center, a statewide service delivery system for marriage skills
training, and a public information campaign to aid in changing the culture
of divorce. Social service caseworkers, public health nurses, counselors,
and educators will be trained and educated to promote marriage. The
Governor has also asked state agencies to review and evaluate public
programs to establish marriage-neutral or marriage-friendly policies.
The state Department of Human Services, for example, recently decided
to include the income of both partners in cohabiting (as well as married)
couples in determining assistance eligibility, thus eliminating any
financial incentives for informal unions.
In 1998, Florida Governor Lawton Chiles signed "The Florida Marriage
Preparation and Preservation Act of 1998," making Florida the first
state to require marriage skills as part of the high school curriculum.
In 1999, his successor, Jeb Bush, became the first governor to sign
a Community Marriage Policy.
In 1998, Governor Michael Leavitt of Utah organized the Governor's
Commission on Marriage, charged with identifying programs and tools
to strengthen marriage in Utah. Similar marriage summits involving marriage
stakeholders in business, health care, education, counseling, clergy,
social work, media, and marriage education have been held (or are planned)
in Oklahoma, Arkansas, Kansas, New Mexico, and Iowa.
In 1998 and 1999, governors in three states-Louisiana, Utah, and North
Carolina-signed marriage proclamations, recognizing the importance of
marriage to the public good.
In April 2000, Arizona Governor Jane Hull signed a new marriage initiative
(proposed by Rep. Mark Anderson) authorizing $1 million to develop community-based
marriage skills courses, $75,000 for subsidized marriage skills classes
for low-income couples, and $500,000 for a marriage media campaign.
In 1999, Texas Governor George W. Bush signed a bill increasing the
marriage licensing fee by $5.00 to create a premarital education manual
for distribution to all marrying couples and to fund new premarital
and marital education research. In addition, the bill directs county
clerks to keep a register of premarital educators to be supplied to
potential spouses and also outlines suggested course content for premarital
education.
Other recent state initiatives include:
In Virginia, the public health department's Partners in Prevention
program has widened the scope of teen pregnancy programs, adding the
goal of reducing out-of-wedlock births among women in their twenties
to the programs' official goals. Innovative efforts like these recognize
that, as Isabel Sawhill has written, "The goal among those concerned
about the breakdown of the family should be to discourage both too early
childbearing and childbearing outside of marriage. Very early childbearing,
even were it to occur within marriage, is inconsistent with the growing
requirements of the economy for workers with high levels of education
and with evidence that teenage marriages are highly unstable. But we
should also recognize that the breakdown of marriage as the normative
context for raising children may have consequences for our society that
are at least as profound as the age at which childbearing begins."[84]
In Wisconsin, the legislature designated $210,000 in unspent TANF
funds to create a new Community Marriage Policy Project to coordinate
and assist local members of the clergy to develop community-wide standards
for marriage.
In 2000, proposals to encourage marriage education were passed by
legislatures in Minnesota and Maryland, but vetoed by the governors
of those states.
The Civic Marriage Movement
The Greater Grand Rapids Community Marriage Policy, developed by
civic, business, clergy, professional leaders, and social service providers
in Michigan, establishes agreed-upon guidelines for premarital preparation
and community support for marriage in order to empower couples for healthy,
lifelong marriage.
The Chattanooga Initiative, led by First Things First, Inc., in Tennessee,
is a coordinated marriage campaign that trains marriage educators, conducts
public outreach, and mobilizes churches around marriage issues. A broad
media outreach campaign aims to educate the public, recruit marriage
mentors, and attract church partners.
In 1997, in Lenawee County, Michigan, judges, mayors, and magistrates
agreed not to marry couples unless they take a marriage preparation
and skills course. On May 11, 2000, Lenawee County held a divorce mediation
summit (including leaders from academia, the bar association, social
work, and the courts) to find new ways to use divorce education and
mediation to encourage reconciliation and reduce divorce. A proposed
new Michigan court rule would give judges new authority to require divorce
mediation earlier in the process, when reconciliation is more likely
to be possible.
Nonprofit community-based organizations across the country are using
public/private partnerships-including local, state, and federal governments;
philanthropic organizations; businesses; the United Way; and individual
donors-to provide family and marriage strengthening services. Comprehensive
community-based "one stop shopping" family centers are being
established in churches and synagogues, schools, and community centers.
Culturally relevant services are offered to family members within a
certain geographic area, thus strengthening the social support network
and community.[85]
Nonprofit citizens organizations in Michigan, Washington, South Carolina,
Georgia, New Jersey, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Alabama, among
others, have made strengthening marriage and reducing divorce significant
parts of their agendas. In the state of Washington, for example, the
Washington Family Council (WFC) is conducting ongoing research into
the attitudes of Washingtonians-especially young people-on marriage,
divorce, and family life, and has created a Marriage Builders program
for local clergy. To date, according to the WFC, 550 Washington churches
have signed 18 "community marriage agreements," representing
more than 15 counties and 130 cities and towns.
The Federal Marriage Movement
In 2000, both Vice President Al Gore and Governor George W. Bush
offer proposals to reduce the marriage penalties in the federal tax
code.
The currently pending "Fathers Count" and "Responsible
Fatherhood" U. S. Congressional legislative initiatives both recognize
that strengthening fatherhood requires more and better approaches to
promoting both marriage and marriageability among low-income fathers.
The passage of the 1996 Welfare Reform Act made promoting marriage
a goal of federal welfare policy and opened the doors to new state marriage
initiatives using unspent welfare funds. Three out of the four legal
goals of welfare law are now marriage-related, including "promoting
. . . marriage," "encourage . . . two-parent families,"
and "reduce . . . out-of-wedlock" births.[86]
A new study suggests that welfare reform can increase marriage and reduce
divorce (and also domestic violence) in low-income families.[87]
Leaders in the marriage movement are also calling on federal agencies,
including the U.S. Census Bureau and the National Center for Health
Statistics, to put marriage back on the research agenda and to make
collecting accurate data on marriage and divorce a higher priority.
What Should We Do? A Call to the Nation
We call upon America's civic, political, moral, religious, professional,
policy making, and intellectual leaders to join with us in the great task
of renewing a marriage culture. We propose five principles to guide our
effort:
1. Make supporting marriage-not just marriage neutrality-the goal. Healthy
marriages benefit the whole community. Conversely, when marriages fail,
huge personal and public costs are generated. If we can help more marriages
to succeed, it would be foolish and wrong to settle for policies that
are merely neutral about marriage.
2. Respect the special status of marriage. Do not extend the benefits
of marriage to couples who could marry, but choose not to. Offering the
social and legal benefits of marriage to cohabiting couples unfairly and
unwisely weakens the special option of marriage.
3. Reconnect marriage and childbearing. Do not discourage married couples
from having children as they choose, and encourage young men and women
to wait to have children until they have made good marriages, not just
until they have high school diplomas or turn twenty-one.
4. Do not discourage marital interdependence by penalizing unpaid work
in homes and communities. Couples should be free to divide up labor however
they choose without pressure from policies that discriminate against at-home
parenting and other activities that serve civil society.
5. Promote both the ideal of marital permanence and the aspiration couples
today have for more satisfying marriage relationships.
Next Steps
We offer these concrete suggestions as starting points. Not all of us
agree with every single suggestion, but we are united in agreeing that
it is time to engage in substantive deliberation about what can be done
to strengthen marriage:
To married couples:
Deepen your commitment to your marriage promise. Seek clergy, marriage
mentors, or professional counselors who are not "marriage neutral,"
but committed to helping you and your marriage succeed. If your marriage
has recovered from serious troubles, consider volunteering at (or starting)
a marriage mentoring program at your local church, synagogue, temple
or other community forum to help turn around other marriages.
To parents:
Make raising children who succeed in marriage at least as important
a goal as raising children who succeed in careers. Ideally, parents
should view this goal as part of a larger effort to resist the intrusion
of market mores into family life, the beginning of a larger fight for
"a new bottom line" in which institutions and social practices
are seen as "productive" not only to the extent that they
maximize money and power, but also to the extent that they maximize
people's capacity to value love, sustain their marriages and to raise
emotionally and physically healthy children. Parents who want their
children to marry before having children, and who prefer marriage to
cohabitation, should explicitly communicate this message to their children.
If, as a parent, you want to tell your children that sex is best reserved
for marriage, do not let unmarried couples sleep together in your own
home. Take advantage of the resources of your spiritual tradition; faith
can place skills within the context of deep religious meaning and of
commitment to the divine purposes of marriage.
To friends and family members:
When people you care about are facing divorce or marital problems,
offer them your help and your hope. Refer them to mentor couples or
marriage intervention, counseling, or education programs. Remind them
- despite how they may feel today-that staying unhappily married may
not be the only option: In one study of a nationally representative
sample, three out of four very unhappily married couples that did not
divorce were able to turn their marriages around.[88]
To clergy and faith communities:
Recover your historic role as custodians of the marriage covenant
or sacrament. Deepen your own and your congregation's understanding
of the importance of marriage as a sign and symbol of divine love. Create
or improve faith-based marriage preparation programs, incorporating
the latest skills research without subordinating the religious dimension
of marriage. New research is showing that trained clergy and lay leaders
can be even more effective marriage educators than the best-trained
professional counselors and therapists.[89] Marriage
skills help committed couples negotiate their way to more satisfying
relationships. But they cannot tell couples as persuasively why marriage
matters. Clergy are thus often in a unique position to offer struggling
couples new hope and new reasons to resolve their marital problems.
Develop lay marriage mentoring ministries to help engaged, newlywed,
and troubled couples. Lay mentor couples can play a role that no professional
can. Alcoholics Anonymous is as successful, or more successful, than
the most highly trained professional in getting alcoholics sober, because
people who have been there can provide daily support, skills, tips,
and, above all, inspiration: the difficult faith that success is possible.
Embrace the goal of lowering divorce in your faith community and your
denomination. Maintain the integrity of marriage vows exchanged in your
church, requiring all couples who marry to participate in a serious,
theologically informed program of church-sponsored premarital education.
Create a marriage culture within your religious community that is distinct.
Educate your faith community about the value and importance of marriage.
Be aware of research on the benefits of marriage and the consequences
of divorce as well as the existence of effective marriage preparation
mentoring and interventions.[90] Convey a clear message
that marriage is not just a private matter, but an accountable promise
before God and the faith community.
To youth pastors, abstinence educators, and other
community youth workers:
Today's young people need positive, moving portraits of the good marriage,
and of the value and importance of marriage for adults and children.
They also need new hope that they, too, can, through marriage, achieve
a loving, lasting family bond. Do not wait until children are grown,
or couples are engaged, to begin the process of marriage preparation
and education in your congregation or community. Reconnect marriage
and childbearing in the minds of young people; point out the limits
of cohabitation for adults and children alike.
To marriage counselors, therapists, and educators:
Take advantage of new marriage therapy and education research, especially
new models of healthy marriage and marriage intervention that are on
a far sounder scientific footing.
Treat your clients as spouses and parents, and not just as individuals.
While recognizing that not all marriages should be supported, we believe
that marriage counselors should embrace the obligation to consider the
interests of the family as a whole, including dependent children, and
not just the desires of adult clients, in counseling those with marital
problems.
To obstetricians, pediatricians, pediatric and
obstetric nurses, Lamaze and La Leche instructors, and other medical professionals:
Educate yourself on the importance of healthy marriage for children's
physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Recognize that the birth
of a child is a highly stressful time in marriage and therefore a potential
flash point for divorce. Look for opportunities to incorporate marriage
and parenting support into the professional relationship. Encourage
your medical facility to offer marriage and parenting education programs,
such as "Boot Camp for New Dads" or the "Becoming Parents
Program." Helping more young married couples successfully negotiate
the stress that parenting places on marriages would be a major contribution
to public health and to children's well-being.
To family lawyers, bar associations, and other
legal groups:
Remember that lawyers are officers of the court, invested by the state
with considerable authority, and that you have a grave responsibility
as counselor as well as advocate. Do not forget that the plans that
the parents make for children will last far beyond your stewardship
and will influence their entire life. Encourage clients to consider
alternatives to divorce, where domestic violence is not an issue. Maintain
a list of marriage intervention, counseling, and education programs
to offer to clients who express ambivalence about divorce or interest
in reconciliation. Maintain a similar list of professionals with expertise
in working with children to buffer the trauma of divorce. Become an
advocate within the legal profession for divorce laws and court rules
that aim to promote reconciliations, where appropriate, rather than
simply processing divorce as rapidly as possible. Oppose legal changes
(such as those recently adopted by the American Law Institute) that
would weaken the special legal status of marriage by extending marital
benefits to cohabitors who are legally able to marry.
To federal, state, and local governments:
Make supporting and promoting marriage an explicit goal of domestic
policy, accompanied by explicit criteria to measure success, such as
a reduction in the divorce rate and an increase in the proportion of
children born inside of marriage.
Increase funding for marriage research, including: basic research
on marital processes that impact mental health and the success of marriages;
intervention research designed to investigate ways to improve marriages;
and evaluation research to establish the impact on divorce and marriage
of current and proposed public policy changes in taxes, welfare, marriage
education, divorce law, and court-connected mediation, parenting, and
divorce education plans. Support new research to investigate the economic
costs shifted to business and taxpayers when marriages fail or fail
to form
.
Given the powerful relationship between marriage and mental and physical
health, the National Center for Health Statistics, the National Institutes
of Health, the National Institute for Mental Health, and state public
health departments should make collecting and analyzing data on marriage
and divorce an important priority.
Consider using part of unspent welfare (TANF) money to fund marriage-supportive
activities, from sponsoring marriage mentoring and education campaigns
for low-income communities to public education campaigns about the value
and importance of marriage, especially for children. Earmark funds for
evaluation research, so that effective program components can be identified
and replicated.
Consider subsidizing marriage education by providing vouchers, free
classes, or tax credits to those served by counselors, therapists, and
lay educators who donate their services. Promote community marriage
policies, premarital inventories, and marriage education programs through
marriage license tax breaks, subsidized classes, and vouchers for low-income
couples.
Reduce marriage penalties in the tax code and in other programs, without
creating inadvertent homemaker penalties in their stead.
Incorporate a marriage dimension in all existing teen pregnancy, fatherhood,
and sex education programs. Make persuading teens to wait to have children
until they are mature enough to make a good marriage-not just until
they get a high school diploma or turn twenty-one-an explicit goal of
all government-subsidized teen pregnancy programs.[91]
Hold marriage summits to pull together stakeholders in marriage from
religious, business, counseling and therapy, child welfare, and family
organizations, as well as from federal, state, and local governments,
to highlight the importance of marriage.
Highlight the public health and other benefits of marriage through
public education campaigns. Alternatively, education campaigns could
focus on the risks of divorce or unwed parenting to children and on
the relative loss of control that divorce brings to both custodial and
noncustodial parents.
Reform court-connected divorce education and mediation programs so
that they seek to facilitate reconciliations, rather than merely expedite
the divorce process. Fund evaluation research to see which divorce education
programs meet the goal of both reducing divorce acrimony and
preventing unnecessary divorce.
Reconsider no-fault divorce laws and find innovative new ways to give
legal weight to the marriage vow. For example, a longer waiting period
(at least 18 months for contested no-fault divorces), slows down the
divorce process, gives counseling a chance to work, offers some power
to the spouse who wants to stay married, and at the very least gives
the spouse who is being divorced time to recover emotionally before
being plunged into life-altering legal decisions. Other divorce law
reform proposals include offering couples the option of stronger "covenant
marriage" vows; allowing judges to consider fault in custody or
property division in instances of one-sided, walkaway divorces; and
requiring mutual consent for no-fault divorces. Other states have passed,
or are considering, legislation requiring couples contemplating divorce
to attend classes on the possible repercussions of divorce for their
children's well-being.[92]
We seek nothing less than to rebuild the shattered dream of lasting love
and to pass on a healthier, happier, and more successful marriage culture
to the next generation. Toward this end, we pledge our time, our resources,
and our intellectual and moral energy.
Signatories Affiliations are listed for identification purposes
only.
Enola Aird, Director of the Motherhood Project, Institute for American
Values (New York, NY)
Representative Mark Anderson, Chairman, Human Services Committee,
Arizona House of Representatives (Phoenix, AZ)
Charles Ballard, Founder and CEO, Institute for Responsible Fatherhood
(Washington, D.C.)
Brent A. Barlow, Ph.D., Chair, Governor's Commission on Marriage,
Utah (Orem, UT)
Jonetta Rose Barras, Author of Whatever Happened to Daddy's
Little Girl? The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women (Washington,
D.C.)
Julie Baumgardner, M.S., Associate Director, First Things First,
Inc. (Chattanooga, TN)
Dr. Steven Bayme, Director of the William Petschek National Jewish
Family Center, American Jewish Committee (New York, NY)
Robert Bellah, Emeritus Professor of Sociology, University of California
at Berkeley and Co-Author of Habits of the Heart
Lorraine Blackman, African American Family Life Education Program,
Indiana University, School of Social Work (Indianapolis, IN)
David Blankenhorn, President, Institute for American Values (New
York, NY)
Rep. Elaine Bloom, State Representative and Candidate for the United
States Congress (Miami Beach, Florida)
Senator Mark Boitano, New Mexico State Senate (Albuquerque, NM)
Rae Young Bond, President and Executive Director, First Things First,
Inc. (Chattanooga, TN)
David Bosworth, Author, University of Washington (Seattle, WA)
Sharon Weston Broome, Louisiana State Representative, District 29
(Baton Rouge, LA)
Hon. Helen E. Brown, Judge of the 3rd Judicial Circuit Court (Detroit,
MI)
Don S. Browning, Alexander Campbell Professor and Director of the
Religion, Culture, and Family Project, Divinity School, University of
Chicago
David L. Caprara, President, The Empowerment Network (Washington,
D.C.)
Allan C. Carlson, Ph.D., President, The Howard Center (Rockford,
IL)
Obie Clayton, Jr., Executive Director, Morehouse Research Institute
and Professor of Sociology, Morehouse College (Atlanta, GA)
Bill Coffin, Navy Quality of Life Program Specialist and Marriage
Preparation Coordinator, Archdiocese of Washington, D.C.
David Orgon Coolidge, Director, Marriage Law Project, Columbus School
of Law, The Catholic University of America; Ethics and Public Policy Center
(Washington, D.C.)
Florence Creighton, MSW, LCSW, Partner, Family Wellness Associates
(Gilroy, CA)
John Crouch, Americans for Divorce Reform (Arlington, VA)
Midge Dector, Author (New York, NY)
Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., Founder, Family Relations Success Council, and
Director and Founder, The Relationship Center (Spring House, PA)
William J. Doherty, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Family Social
Science, University of Minnesota (St. Paul, MN)
George Doub, M.Div., MFT, Co-Founder and Partner, Family Wellness
Associates (Scotts Valley, CA)
Al Dueck, Professor of Psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary (Pasadena,
CA)
Don E. Eberly, Director, The Civil Society Project (Lancaster, PA)
Jean Bethke Elshtain, Laura Spelman Rockefeller Professor of Social
and Political Ethics, Divinity School, University of Chicago
Martha Farrell Erickson, Ph.D., Director, Children, Youth, and Family
Consortium, University of Minnesota (St. Paul, MN)
Amitai Etzioni, Author of the Spirit of Community and University
Professor, George Washington University (Washington, D.C.)
Patrick F. Fagan, The William H. G. FitzGerald Fellow in Family and
Culture Studies, The Heritage Foundation (Washington, D.C.)
Dr. Robert M. Franklin, President, Interdenominational Theological
Center (Atlanta, GA)
Francis Fukuyama, Omer L. and Nancy Hirst Professor of Public Policy,
George Mason University (Arlington, VA)
Maggie Gallagher, Affiliate Scholar, Institute for American Values
(New York, NY)
William A. Galston, Professor, School of Public Affairs, University
of Maryland (College Park, MD)
Michael Geer, President, Pennsylvania Family Institute (Harrisburg,
PA)
Rabbi Marc A. Gellman, Ph.D., President of the New York Board of
Rabbis
Mary Ann Glendon, Learned Hand Professor of Law, Harvard University
Norval Glenn, Ashbel Smith Professor of Sociology and Stiles Professor
of American Studies, University of Texas at Austin
Lori H. Gordon, Ph.D., Founder/Director, PAIRS Foundation, Ltd.,
PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills) (Weston,
FL)
Rabbi Morris Gordon, Ph.D., Chairman of the Board, PAIRS Foundation,
Ltd. (Weston, FL)
Bernard Guerney, Jr., Director, National Institute of Relationship
Enhancement® (Bethesda, MD)
David Gutmann, Ph.D., Emeritus Professor of Psychology, Department
of Psychiatry, Northwestern University Medical School (Chicago, IL)
Hon. Bill Hardiman, Mayor of Kentwood, Michigan
Terry Hargrave, Ph.D., Professor, West Texas A&M University (Canyon,
TX); Author of The Essential Humility of Marriage; and Past President,
Texas Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Archibald D. Hart, Ph.D., FPPR, Professor of Psychology, Graduate
School of Psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary (Pasadena, CA)
Alan Hawkins, Associate Director, School of Family Life, Brigham
Young University (Provo, UT)
Dr. Steve A. Hayner, President, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship
(Madison, WI)
Dr. Joanne Heaney-Hunter, Associate Professor of Theology, St. John's
University, (New York, NY)
Harville Hendrix, Author of Getting the Love You Want and
Co-Founder, Institute for Imago Relationship Therapy (Tenafly, NJ)
The Rev. Dr. Roberta Hestenes, Senior Pastor, Solana Beach Presbyterian
Church (Solana, CA) and former president of Eastern College (St. Davids,
PA)
Sylvia Ann Hewlett, Fellow at Harvard's Center for the Study of Values
in Public Life, Founder and Chairman of the National Parenting Association
(New York, NY)
Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President, The National Fatherhood Initiative
(Gaithersburg, MD)
Kay Hymowitz, Senior Fellow, The Manhattan Institute, and Affiliate
Scholar, Institute for American Values (New York, NY)
Dan Jarvis, Director of Research and Policy, Michigan Family Forum
(Lansing, MI)
Pamela L. Jordan, Ph.D., R.N., Department of Family and Child Nursing,
University of Washington and Developer, Becoming Parents Program (Seattle,
WA)
Charlene R. Kamper, MA, CFLE, Educator, Redlands High School (Redlands,
CA) and Author of Connections: Relationships and Marriage; Connections:
Dating and Emotions; and Being Yourself
Amy A. Kass, University of Chicago
Leon R. Kass, University of Chicago
Jeff Kemp, Executive Director, Washington Family Council (Bellevue,
WA)
Anna Mae Kobbe, Ph.D., National leader in family life education (Washington,
D.C.)
Thomas C. Kohler, Professor of Law, Boston College Law School
Michael G. Lawler, Amelia B. and Emil G. Graff Chair in Theological
Studies, and Director, Center for Marriage and Family, Creighton University
(Omaha, NE)
Delegate John R. Leopold, Deputy Minority Whip, House of Delegates
(Annapolis, MD)
Rabbi Michael Lerner, Editor, TIKKUN Magazine (San Francisco,
CA) and Author of Spirit Matters
Dana Mack, Director, Childhood & Adolescence Project, Institute
for American Values (New York, NY)
Barbara Markey, Ph.D., FOCCUS, Inc., and Creighton University Center
for Marriage and Family (Omaha, NE)
Howard J. Markman, Ph.D., Co-Author of Fighting for Your Marriage:
Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love;
Co-Developer, Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP);
and Psychologist, University of Denver
H. Richard McCord, Ed.D., Executive Director, US Catholic Bishops
Committee on Marriage and Family Life (Washington, D.C.)
Michael J. McManus, President, Marriage Savers (Potomac, MD)
Lawrence M. Mead, Professor of Politics, New York University
Sherod Miller, Ph.D., Co-Developer of COUPLE COMMUNICATION (Evergreen,
CO)
Barbara Morrison-Rodriguez, Ph.D., Associate Dean and Research Professor,
The Florida Mental Health Institute, University of South Florida (Tampa,
FL)
Richard J. Mouw, Ph.D., President, Fuller Theological Seminary (Pasadena,
CA)
John E. Murray, Jr., President, Duquesne University, and Executive
Director, Duquesne University Family Institute (Pittsburgh, PA)
David G. Myers, Professor of Psychology, Hope College (Holland, MI)
and Author, The American Paradox: Spiritual Hunger in an Age of Plenty
Mary Myrick, Oklahoma Marriage Initiative (Oklahoma City, OK)
Father Richard John Neuhaus, President, Institute on Religion and
Public Life (New York, NY)
Steven L. Nock, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, University of Virginia
(Charlottesville, VA) and Author of Marriage and Men's Lives
David H. Olson, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota
Theodora Ooms, Couples and Marriage Policy Resource Center (Washington,
DC)
Les Parrott, III, Ph.D. and Leslie Parrott, Ed.D., Center for Relationship
Development, Seattle Pacific University (Seattle, WA) and Scholars-In-Residence
for the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative (Oklahoma City, OK)
Mitchell B. Pearlstein, Ph.D., President, Center of the American
Experiment (Minneapolis, MN)
Dwight N. Peterson, Associate Professor of Biblical Studies, Eastern
College (St. Davids, PA)
Margaret Kim Peterson, Assistant Professor of Theological Studies,
Eastern College (St. Davids, PA)
Mary Pipher, Author of The Shelter of Each Other and Another
Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders (Lincoln,
NE)
David Popenoe, Professor of Sociology and Co-Director, The Marriage
Project, Rutgers University (New Brunswick/Piscataway, NJ)
Stephen G. Post, Ph.D., Center for Biomedical Ethics, School of Medicine,
Case Western University (Cleveland, OH)
Arthur E. Rasmussen, Board Member, Institute for American Values
(New York, NY)
Catherine (Kay) Reed, President, The Dibble Fund for Marriage Education
(Berkeley, CA)
Jerry Regier, Cabinet Secretary for Health and Human Services, State
of Oklahoma
Gloria G. Rodriguez, Ph.D., President/CEO, AVANCE, Inc. (San Antonio,
TX)
Senator Tom Rossin, Florida Senate President-Designate
Hon. James E. Sheridan, District Judge (Adrian, MI)
Ronald J. Sider, President, Evangelicals for Social Action
Charles Kent Smith, M.D., Vice Dean for Education and Academic Affairs;
Dorothy Jones Weatherhead Professor; and Chairman, Department of Family
Medicine, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine (Cleveland,
OH)
Diane Sollee, Founder and Director, Coalition for Marriage, Family,
and Couples Education (Washington, DC)
Katherine S. Spaht, Jules F. and Frances L. Landry Professor of Law,
Louisiana State University
Scott M. Stanley, Co-Director, Center for Marital and Family Studies
and Adjunct Professor of Psychology, University of Denver
Glenn T. Stanton, Executive Family Editor, Christianity.com
Peter Uhlenberg, Professor of Sociology, University of North Carolina,
Chapel Hill
Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen, Ph.D., Resident Scholar, Hestenes Center
for Christian Women in Leadership, Eastern College (St. Davids, PA)
Maris A. Vinovskis, Ph.D., Professor of History, University of Michigan
(Ann Arbor, MI)
Linda J. Waite, Professor of Sociology, University of Chicago
Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D., Founder of the Judith Wallerstein Center
for the Family in Transition (Corte Madera, CA) and Divorce Researcher
and Author
Professor Lynn D. Wardle, J. Reuben Clark Law School, Brigham Young
University (Provo, UT)
Michele Weiner-Davis, Author of Divorce Busting
Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Author and Co-Director, The Marriage Project,
Rutgers University (New Brunswick/Piscataway, NJ)
James Q. Wilson, Emeritus Professor of Management, UCLA; and Reagan
Professor of Public Policy, Pepperdine University (Malibu, CA)
John Witte, Jr., Jonas Robitscher Professor of Law and Ethics and
Director, Law and Religion Program, Emory University (Atlanta, GA)
Endnotes
1. Andrew J. Cherlin, 1992. Marriage, Divorce,
Remarriage (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press): 84-86.
2. For the effects of parental income and education
on offspring's marital quality and divorce risk, see Paul R. Amato and
Alan Booth, 1997. A Generation At Risk: Growing Up in an Era of Family
Upheaval (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press): 89-99.
3. M. Belinda Tucker, (in press) 2000. "Marital
Values and Expectations in Context: Results From a 21 City Survey"
in Linda J. Waite et. al (eds) The Ties That Bind: Perspectives on
Marriage and Cohabitation (New York: Aldine de Gruyter).
4. Christine Bachrach, Michelle J. Hindin, and
Elizabeth Thomson, (in press) 2000. "The Changing Shape of the Ties
that Bind" in Linda J. Waite, et. al. (eds) The Ties That Bind:
Perspectives on Marriage and Cohabitation (New York: Aldine de Gruyter).
5. J. Abma, et. al., 1997. "Fertility, Family
Planning, and Women's Health: New Data from the 1995 National Survey of
Family Growth." National Center for Health Statistics. Vital
Health Statistics 23(19). See Table 36.
6. Larry Bumpass and Hsien-Hen Lu, 1998. "Trends
in Cohabitation and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the
U.S." Paper presented at the 1998 annual meeting of the Population
Association of America (www.ssc.wisc.edu/cde/cdewp/home.htm): See Table
6.
7. See, for example, Judith S. Wallerstein and
Sandra Blakeslee, (in press) 2000. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce
(New York: Hyperion); Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, 1994. Growing
Up With A Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps (Cambridge, MA: Harvard
University Press); Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997. A Generation
At Risk: Growing Up in an Era of Family Upheaval (Cambridge, MA:
Harvard University Press); Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, (in press)
2000. The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier
and Better-Off Financially (New York: Doubleday).
8. See, for example, John M. Gottman, 1999. The
Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital Therapy (New York:
Norton); N. S., Jacobson, A. Christensen, S. E. Prince, J. Cordova, and
K. Eldridge, 2000. "Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: An Acceptance-Based,
Promising New Treatment For Couple Discord" Journal of Consulting
and Clinical Psychology: 68(2). A. Christensen, and N.S. Jacobson,
1999. Reconcilable Differences. (New York: Guilford): S. M. Stanley,
W. C. Lobitz, and F. Dickson, 1999. "Using What We Know: Commitment
and Cognitions in Marital Therapy" in W. Jones and J. Adams (eds)
Handbook of Interpersonal Commitment and Relationship Stability.
(New York: Plenum); L. C. Blackman, 1995. "Marriage Enrichment: A
Potential Strategy for Promoting Marital Satisfaction and Stability among
African Americans" Black Caucus 2(1): 21-30.
9. U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1998. Statistical
Abstract of the United States: 1998 (Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department
of Commerce). See Table 92.
10. U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1998. Statistical
Abstract of the United States: 1998 (Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department
of Commerce). See Table 101.
11. Norval Glenn, 1996. "Values, Attitudes,
and the State of American Marriage" in David Popenoe, Jean Bethke
Elshtain, and David Blankenhorn (eds) Promises to Keep: Decline and
Renewal of Marriage in America (Lanham, MD: Rowman and Littlefield):
15-33. See Figures 2.2. and 2.3.
12. Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997. A
Generation at Risk: Growing Up in an Era of Family Upheaval (Cambridge,
MA: Harvard University Press): 115.
13. The Roper Center for Public Opinion Research,
1998. "The Family, Marriage: Highly Valued" The Public Perspective
(February/March): 17-18.
14. Lynn D. Wardle, 1999. "Divorce Reform
at the Turn of the Millennium: Certainties and Possibilities" Family
Law Quarterly 33: 783ff.
15. Norval Glenn, 1996. "Values, Attitudes,
and the State of American Marriage," in David Popenoe, Jean Bethke
Elshtain, and David Blankenhorn (eds) Promises to Keep: Decline and
Renewal of Marriage in America (Lanham, MD: Rowman and Littlefield):
15-33.
16. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead,
1999. The State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America
(New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project): June. See Figures
13 and 14. Available online at: http://marriage.rutgers.edu
17. David Popenoe, 1999. Changes in Teen
Attitudes Toward Marriage, Cohabitation and Children, 1975-1995 (New
Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project): 1-10.
18. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead,
1999. The State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America
(New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project): June. See Figure 16.
19. Amara Bachu, 1998. Trends In Marital
Status of U.S. Women at First Birth: 1930 to 1994 (Washington D.C.,
U.S. Bureau of the Census). Available online at: http://www.census.governor/population/www/techpap.html
20. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead,
1999. The State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America
(New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage Project): June. See Figure 17.
21. Tom W. Smith, 1999. "The Emerging 21st
Century Family:" GSS Social Change Report No. 42 (Chicago:
National Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago). See Table 2.
22. Larry Bumpass and Hsein-Hen Lu, 1998. "Trends
in Cohabitation and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the
U.S." Paper presented at the 1998 annual meeting of the Population
Association of America. Available online at: www.ssc.wisc.edu/cde/cdewp/home.htm
23. Thomas G. O'Connor, et. al., 1999. "Frequency
and Predictors of Relationship Dissolution in a Community Sample in England,"
Journal of Family Psychology 13(3): 436-449.
24. Neil G. Bennett, et. al, 1995. "The
Influence of Nonmarital Childbearing on the Formation of First Marriages"
Demography 32(1): 47-62.
25. David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead,
1999. Should We Live Together? What Young Adults Need to Know About
Cohabitation Before Marriage (New Brunswick, NJ: The National Marriage
Project).
26. William G. Axinn and Jennifer S. Barber,
1997. "Living Arrangements and Family Formation Attitudes in Early
Adulthood" Journal of Marriage and the Family 59(3) (August):
595ff.
27. Paul R. Amato and Stacy J. Rogers, 1999.
"Do Attitudes Toward Divorce Affect Marital Quality?" Journal
of Family Issues 20(1): 69-86.
28. See The National Campaign To Prevent Teen
Pregnancy's website: www.teenpregnancy.org
29. Stephanie Ventura, et. al., 1999. "Births:
Final Data for 1997" National Vital Statistics Reports 47(18):
Table 18.
30. According to the National Center for Health
Statistics, the divorce rate per 1,000 married women rose from 9.2 in
1960 to a peak in 1979 at 22.8, declining to 20.9 divorces per 1,000 wives
by 1990. See: www.cdc.governor/nchs/fastats/pdf/43-9s-t1.pdf ; see also,
Tim B. Heaton, 1998. Factors Contributing to Increasing Marital Stability
in the United States (Provo, UT: Center for Studies of the Family,
Brigham Young University) (October).
31. Stephanie Ventura, et. al., 1999. "Births:
Final Data for 1997" National Vital Statistics Reports 47(18):
Tables 17 and 18.
32. Community marriage policies have yet to receive
rigorous scholarly evaluation, but for prima facie reports of their success,
see, for example, Michael McManus, 1995. Marriage Savers: Helping
Your Friends and Family Avoid Divorce (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan);
Pam Belluck, 2000. "States Declare War on Divorce Rates, Before Any
'I Dos'" The New York Times (April 22); Larry B. Stammer,
1997. "A Crusade to Save Marriages" Los Angeles Times
(March 17).
33. See, for example, John Gottman, 1999. The
Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital Therapy (New York:
W.W. Norton); S. M. Stanley and H. J. Markman, 1998. "Acting on What
We Know: The Hope of Prevention" in Theodora Ooms (ed) Strategies
to Strengthen Marriage: What We Know, What We Need to Know (Washington
D.C.: Family Impact Seminar).
34. Theodora Ooms suggests that there are at
least six reasons why some people treat marriage as the "M-word".
See Theodora Ooms, 1998. Towards More Perfect Unions: Putting Marriage
on the Public Agenda (Washington D.C.: Family Impact Seminar) (July):
10-11. Available from [email protected].
35. David T. Ellwood, 1988. Poor Support:
Poverty and the American Family (New York: Basic Books): 46.
36. Larry Bumpass quoted in Karen Peterson, 2000.
"Changing the Shape of the American Family" USA Today (April
18).
37. Don Browning, 2000. "What Is Marriage?
An Exploration". Paper presented at the Institute for American Values'
Marriage Consultation, New York City (January 25): 9.
38. Don Browning, 2000. "What Is Marriage?
An Exploration". Paper presented at the Institute for American Values'
Marriage Consultation, New York City (January 25): 11.
39. Tabulations by Linda J. Waite and Kara Joyner
from the National Health and Social Life Survey. See Linda J. Waite and
Maggie Gallagher, (in press) 2000. The Case for Marriage: Why Married
People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better-Off Financially (New York:
Doubleday): See Chapter 6.
40. See, for example, Steven L. Nock, 1998. Marriage
in Men's Lives (New York, Oxford: Oxford University Press).
41. Lingxin Hao, 1996. "Family Structure,
Private Transfers, and the Economic Well-Being of Families with Children"
Social Forces 75: 269-292.
42. Frank F. Furstenberg, Jr., and Andrew Cherlin,
1991. Divided Families: What Happens To Children When Parents Part
(Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press): 35-36. See also, Adam Shapiro
and James David Lambert, 1999. "Longitudinal Effects of Divorce on
the Quality of the Father-Child Relationship and on Fathers' Well-Being"
Journal of Marriage and the Family 61 (May): 397-408.
43. Rebekah Levin Coley and P. Lindsay Chase-Lansdale,
1999. "Stability and Change in Paternal Involvement Among Urban African
American Fathers" Journal of Family Psychology 13(3): 416-435.
44. Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, (in
press) 2000. The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier,
Healthier and Better-Off Financially (New York: Doubleday): Chapter
9. See also, for example: Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, (in
press) 2000. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce (New York: Hyperion);
Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, 1994. Growing Up With A Single Parent:
What Helps, What Hurts (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press);
Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997. A Generation At Risk: Growing
Up in an Age of Family Upheaval (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University
Press); Lingxin Hao, 1997. "Family Structure, Parental Input, and
Child Development". Paper presented to the Population Association
of America (March); Ed Spruijt and Martijn de Goede, 1997. "Transition
in Family Structure and Adolescent Well-Being" Adolescence
32(128) (Winter): 897ff.
45. See, for example: S. J. Creighton, 1985.
"An Epidemiological Study of Abused Children and their Families in
the United Kingdom Between 1977 and 1982" Child Abuse and Neglect
9: 441-448; M. Daly and M. I. Wilson, 1994. "Some Differential Attributes
of Lethal Assaults on Small Children by Stepfathers versus Genetic Fathers"
Ethology and Sociobiology 15: 207-217; M. Daly and M. I. Wilson,
1996. "Violence against Stepchildren" Current Directions
in Psychological Science 3: 77-81.
46. Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997. A
Generation At Risk: Growing Up in an Era of Family Upheaval (Cambridge,
MA: Harvard University Press): 77-78.
47. Cynthia C. Harper and Sara S. McLanahan,
1998. "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration", Paper presented
at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association (San Francisco,
August).
48. Thomas J. Kneisner, et. al., 1988. "Getting
into Poverty Without a Husband, and Getting Out, With or Without"
American Economic Review 78 (May): 86-90.
49. Julia A. Heath and B. F. Kiker, 1992. "Determinants
of Spells of Poverty Following Divorce" Review of Social Economy
50 (3) (Fall): 305ff.
50. Pamela J. Smock, Wendy D. Manning, and Sanjiv
Gupta, 1999. "The Effect of Marriage and Divorce on Women's Economic
Well-Being" American Sociological Review, 64 (December):
794-812.
51. Johanne Boisjoly, Kathleen Mullan Harris,
and Greg J. Duncan, 1998. "Trends, Events, and Duration of Initial
Welfare Spells" Social Service Review (December): 467-492.
52. Andrew J. Cherlin, et. al., 1995. "Parental
Divorce in Childhood and Demographic Outcomes in Young Adulthood"
Demography 32: 299-318; Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, 1997. A
Generation At Risk: Growing Up in an Age of Family Upheaval (Cambridge,
MA: Harvard University Press): 84-119.
53. Howard S. Gordon and Gary E. Rosenthal, 1995.
"Impact of Marital Status on Hospital Outcomes: Evidence from an
Academic Medical Center" Archives of Internal Medicine 155:
2465-2471.
54. Kenneth G. Manton, E. Stallard, and Max A.
Woodbury, 1995. "Longitudinal Models of Disability Changes and Active
Life Expectancy in Elderly Populations: The Interaction of Sex, Age and
Marital Status" in W. Morgenstern, et. al., (eds) Modeling Noncommunicable
Diseases (Berlin: Springer Verlag); Vicki A. Freedman, 1996. "Family
Structure and the Risk of Nursing Home Admission" Journal of
Gerontology: Social Sciences 51B(2): S61-S69:
55. Jane Mauldon, 1990. "The Effects of
Marital Disruption on Children's Health" Demography 27:
431-446.
56. Ronald Angel and Jacqueline Lowe Worobey,
1988. "Single Motherhood and Children's Health" Journal
of Health and Social Behavior 29: 38-52.
57. Nicholas Zill, 1994. "Understanding
Why Children in Stepfamilies Have More Learning and Behavior Problems
than Children in Nuclear Families" in Alan Booth and Judy Dunn (eds)
Stepfamilies: Who Benefits, Who Does Not? (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence
Erlbaum Associates): 97-106.
58. Andrew J. Cherlin, et. al., 1995. "Parental
Divorce in Childhood and Demographic Outcomes in Young Adulthood"
Demography 32: 299-318.
59. Robert L. Fllewelling and Karl E. Bauman,
1990. "Family Structure as a Predictor of Initial Substance Use and
Sexual Intercourse in Early Adolescence" Journal of Marriage
and the Family 52: 171-181.
60. For a summary of this wide body of research,
see Waite and Gallagher, (in press) 2000. The Case for Marriage: Why
Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better-Off Financially (New
York: Doubleday).
61. Lingxin Hao, 1996. "Family Structure,
Private Transfers, and the Economic Well-Being of Families with Children"
Social Forces 75: 269-292.
62. Catherine E. Ross, John Mirowsky, and Karen
Goldsteen, 1990. "The Impact of the Family on Health: Decade in Review"
Journal of Marriage and the Family 52: 1059-1078. See also, Lee
A. Lillard and Linda J. Waite, 1995. "'Til Death do Us Part: Marital
Disruption and Mortality" American Journal of Sociology
100(5) (March): 1131-1156; Yuanreng Hu and Noreen Goldman, 1990. "Mortality
Differences by Marital Status: An International Comparison" Demography
27(2) (May): 233ff.
63. Nadine F. Marks and James D. Lambert, 1998.
"Marital Status Continuity and Change Among Young and Midlife Adults:
Longitudinal Effects on Psychological Well-Being" Journal of
Family Issues 19: 652ff. See also, Horwitz, White, and Howell-White,
1996. "Becoming Married and Mental Health: A Longitudinal Study of
a Cohort of Young Adults" Journal of Marriage and the Family
58: 895-907; Linda J. Waite and Mary Elizabeth Hughes, 1999. "At
Risk on the Cusp of Old Age: Living Arrangements and Functional Status
Among Black, White, and Hispanic Adults" Journal of Gerontology
Vol 54B (3): S136-S144; Andrew J. Cherlin et. al., 1998. "Effects
of Parental Divorce on Mental Health Throughout the Life Course"
American Sociological Review 63: 239ff.; Carol Miller-Tutzauer,
et. al., 1991. "Marriage and Alcohol Use: A Longitudinal Study of
'Maturing Out'" Journal of Studies on Alcohol 52(5): 434ff.
64. L. Bumpass and H. Lu, 1999. "Trends
in Cohabitation and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the
U.S." CDE Working Paper No. 98-15 (Madison, WI: Center for Demography
and Ecology, University of Wisconsin-Madison).
65. Joyce C. Abma, et. al., 1997. "Fertility
Family Planning, and Women's Health: New Data From the 1995 National Survey
of Family Growth". National Center for Health Statistics. Vital
Health Statistics 23 (19): See Table 36. Available online at www.cdc.governor/nchs/data/sr23_19.pdf
66. U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1992. "Marriage,
Divorce, and Remarriage in the 1990s" Current Population Reports,
P23-180 (Washington D.C.: U.S. Government Printing Office): Table
C.
67. Thomas G. O'Connor et. al., 1999. "Frequency
and Predictors of Relationship Dissolution in a Community Sample in England,"
Journal of Family Psychology 13(3): 436-449.
68. For information, see www.aafle.org
69. See www.smartmarriages.com
70. See www.retrouvaille.org
71. While Marriage Savers and its associated
ministries have not received any scholarly review, there are encouraging
prima facie reports of its effectiveness in reducing divorce and rescuing
troubled marriages. For Marriage Savers' own estimates see www.marriagesavers.org
72. See www.gwu.edu/~ccps
73. See http://marriage.rutgers.edu
74. Theodora Ooms, 1998. Toward More Perfect
Unions: Putting Marriage on the Public Agenda (Washington, D.C.:
Family Impact Seminar).
75. See http://opr.princeton.edu/crcw/ff
76. See www.clasp.org
77. Available online at www.americanvalues.org
78. Major high school marriage skills curricula
currently in use include: Connections; Partners; Free
Teens Relationship Training; The Art of Loving Well;
Building Relationships; and Peers. For more information,
see www.smartmarriages.com
79. Leora Friedberg,
1998. "Did Unilateral Divorce Raise Divorce Rates? Evidence From
Panel Data" American Economic Review 88: 608-627. For the
consequences of unilateral divorce laws on intact marriages, see, for
example, Jeffrey S. Gray and Michael J. Vanderhart, (in press) 2000. "The
Determinants of Wages: Does Marriage Matter?" in Linda J. Waite,
et. al. (eds) The Ties that Bind: Perspectives on Marriage and Cohabitation
(New York: Aldine de Gruyter); Alan M. Parkman, 1998. "Why Are
Married Women Working So Hard?" International Review of Law and
Economics 18 (1): 41-49; Alan M. Parkman, 2000. Good Intentions
Gone Awry: No-Fault Divorce and the American Family (Lanham, MD:
Rowman and Littlefield).
80. Lynn D. Wardle, 1999. "Divorce Reform
at the Turn of the Millennium: Certainties and Possibilities" Family
Law Quarterly 33: 783ff.
81. For up-to-date information on pending divorce
law reforms as well as model legislation, see Americans for Divorce Reform's
website: www.divorcereform.org
82. M. J. Geasler, M. J., and K. R. Blaisure,
1999. "1998 Nationwide Survey of Court-Connected Divorce Education
Programs" Family & Conciliation Courts Review, 37: 36-63.
83. See, for example, Kara G. Morrison, 2000.
"Marriage Policies Cause Community Controversy" The Detroit
News (May 4). Available online at http://www.detnews.com/features/index.htm
84. Isabel Sawhill, 2000. "Welfare Reform
and Reducing Teen Pregnancy" The Public Interest 138 (Winter):
43.
85. For more information on such programs, see,
for example: www.avance.org; www.frca.org; Gloria G. Rodriguez, 1999.
Raising Nuestros Ninos: Bringing Up Latino Children in a Bicultural
World (New York: Simon and Schuster Fireside Books).
86. See, for example, Theodora Ooms, (in press)
2000. Tapping TANF to Promote Marriage and Strengthen Two Parent Families
(Washington D.C.: Center for Law and Social Policy).
87. Virginia Knox, Cynthia Miller and Lisa A.
Gennetian, 2000. Reforming Welfare and Rewarding Work: A Summary of
the Final Report on the Minnesota Family Investment Program (New
York: Manpower Demonstration Research Corporation) May. Available on line
at: http://www.mdrc.org/Reports2000/MFIP/MFIPSummary.htm
88. Tabulations by Linda J. Waite from waves
1 and 2 of the National Survey of Families and Households, based
only on respondents who were married in 1987/88 and still married to the
same person in 1992/94. Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, (in press)
2000. The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier
and Better-Off Financially (New York: Doubleday).
89. S. M. Stanley and H. J. Markman, et al, (in
press) 2001. "Community Based Premarital Prevention: Clergy and Lay
Leaders on the Front Lines" Family Relations.
90. For one such study of marriage preparation
components, see Marriage Preparations in the Catholic Church: Getting
it Right, Report of A Study on the Value of Marriage Preparation in the
Catholic Church for Couples Married One through Eight Years (Omaha,
NE: Center for Marriage and Family, Creighton University): November 1995.
See also John Gottman, 1999. The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically-Based
Marital Therapy (New York: W.W. Norton): Chapter 1.
91. See, for example, Maggie Gallagher, 1999.
The Age of Unwed Mothers: Is Teen Pregnancy the Problem? (New
York: Institute for American Values).
92. For a listing of divorce reform proposals
and model legislation, see www.divorcereform.org
About the Sponsoring Organizations
The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples
Education
The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education (CMFCE), founded
in 1996, is an independent, nonpartisan, nonsectarian organization whose
members are convinced that family breakdown can be reduced through couple-empowering,
skill-based education and accurate, up-to-date information about marriage.
CMFCE serves as a clearinghouse and provides consultation to national,
state and community leaders, and sponsors a website, e-newsletter, directory,
and the Smart Marriages Conference-an annual summit of researchers, educators,
clinicians, clergy, teachers, scholars, policy makers, journalists and
the public interested in strengthening marriage. The conference also trains
marriage and family educators. CMFCE is funded solely by the proceeds
of its annual conference.
Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
5310 Belt Road, NW
Washington, DC 20015-1961
Tel: (202) 362-3332
Fax: (202) 362-0973 [email protected]
www.smartmarriages.com
Institute for American Values
The Institute for American Values, founded in 1987, is a private, nonpartisan
organization devoted to research, publication, and public education on
issues of family well-being and civil society. By providing forums for
scholarly inquiry and debate, the Institute seeks to bring fresh knowledge
to bear on the challenges facing families and civil society. Through its
publications and other educational activities, the Institute seeks to
bridge the gap between scholarship and policy making, bringing new information
to the attention of policy makers in the government, opinion makers in
the media, and decision makers in the private sector.
Institute for American Values
1841 Broadway, Suite 211
New York, New York 10023
Tel: (212) 246-3942
Fax: (212) 541-6665 [email protected]
www.americanvalues.org
Religion, Culture, and Family Project
The Religion, Culture, and Family Project is a national research initiative
whose purpose is to create scholarly resources aiding understanding of
the relation of religion to family issues. It is funded by the Division
of Religion of the Lilly Endowment, Inc. It has published a 10-book series
with Westminster/John Knox and has begun a second series with William
B. Eerdmans. It produces videos, holds conferences, and supports a variety
of practical projects. The Director is Don Browning.
Religion, Culture,and Family Project
The University of Chicago
The Divinity School
1025 East 58th Street
Chicago, Illinois 60637
Tel: (773) 702-9249
Fax: (773) 834-5290 [email protected]
www.uchicago.edu/divinity/family
About this report
The Marriage Movement: A Statement of Principles
Published by the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education;
Institute for American Values; and
Religion, Culture, and Family Project, University of Chicago Divinity
School
Copyright 2000, Institute for American Values
ISBN #0-9659841-6-8
This Statement stems in part from a consulation of marriage leaders held
in New York on January 24-25, 2000, and is sponsored by the Coalition
for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education, the Institute for American
Values, and the Religion, Culture, and Family Project of the University
of Chicago Divinity School. The sponsors are grateful to their respective
financial contributors for their generous support of this initiative.
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